Cybersalt Digest Archive

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Christmas Eve greetings, everyone!

Once again this season finds us hearkening to Christmases past as a blueprint to reference the recreation of the traditions and conditions that have comforted us for years. For many, it is a happy time because everything required for this festive reconstruction has endured another 365 days.

However, others have found that the same cupboard that has always stored the bounty from which they have been able to retrieve what they desired to deck their hearts with warmth of family and community, is now missing some of their most favorite and cherished "things." Military service, prison sentences, estrangement, poor health, the passing of loved ones, and more, have lightened, or stripped bare altogether, their shelves - leaving only a dusty outline of those who once filled the storehouse of their heart.

These painful reminders of loss assault our senses and risk dragging us captive to dark places, where no positive thought may be entertained nor hope whispered. But, through eyes of faith we can look past what is gone and see Who has always been there: the Creator of the shelves, the cupboard and the world that holds it. It was into that same world that he entered as a man to defeat the cause of everything that has ever been, or will be, lost: death. 

Grandma Cybersalt and I hope and pray that, regardless of whatever the fulness or emptiness you are experiencing today, that you have a blessed Christmas as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, come to save us from the penalty of our sins and restore us to a right relationship with our Creator and Father in Heaven. 

Today's video share is one that has probably not yet happened for most of you: one of the Christmas Eve Services at our church. You can watch it live (or replay it) at:
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

In light of Competition Global Challenges, the North Pole is required to continue to take more competitive steps.

Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary.

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic plant, providing savings in maintenance costs.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during the working hours could not be condoned. The positions are, therefore, eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact and we may actually expand the number of hens used. A recent time-motion-profitability study proved that using illegal migratory fowl is extremely profitable as it eliminates the company's need to provide employee benefits because the hens do not meet federal residency requirements.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked. Once this information is determined, the Accounting Department will deduct the costs of any inappropriate non-business calls from their final paycheck.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of their decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by the Personnel Department will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes to better enhance their outplacement.

As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the work force is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring, or a-motoring.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. Let me hasten to add that the company policy prohibits age discrimination. Should these individuals be asked to leave prior to their voluntary retirement, rest assured our Law Department will ensure an ironclad defense against an employee lawsuit.

Ten Lords-a-Leaping is overkill. The high costs of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, significant savings should result due to the number of congressmen left unemployed by the election.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on new music and no uniforms will produce savings to the bottom line.

Though incomplete, studies by our latest consultant indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop-ship in one day, service levels will be improved and we can expect a substantial reduction in the use of part-time personnel.

Happy Holidays!

Santa's Workshop Inc., a Limited Liability Partnership Corporation

"A bookstore is one of the only piece of evidence we have that people are still thinking."

- Jerry Seinfeld

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

How does Santa Claus take pictures?

With his North Pole-a-roid.

"Jesus became man because what was needed was the death of a man who was more than man. The incarnation was God's locking himself into death row."

- John Piper

If I speak in the tongues of Christmas materialism and greed but have not love, I am only a tinny Christmas song or an out of tune choir.

If I have the gift of knowing what Aunt Agatha will give me this year and can even understand last year's present, and if I have the faith that I won't get yet more socks and ties this year but have not love, I am nothing.

If I clear out the house and give everything to charity and my credit cards are snapped in half but have not love, what can I possibly gain?

Love is patient when the fourth store you've tried doesn't have a bottle garden.

Love is kind and lets the couple with only a few items go in front of you and your bulging shopping cart.

Love does not envy your friend who gets mega-presents from everybody.

Love does not boast about the $1200 bike, the ipad, the TV, cell phone, and computer your dad gave you.

Love does not attempt to out-buy, out-wrap, and out-give the rest of the family just to impress.

Love doesn't cut Aunt Flo off your Christmas card list because she forgot you last year.

Love is not self-seeking and leaves a copy of your Christmas list in every room of the house.

Love is not easily angered when the young girl at the checkout takes forever because she is just temporary staff.

Love doesn't keep remembering how many times your mum forgets you don't like brussel sprouts.

Love does not delight in the commercial bandwagon but rejoices with the truth of a baby born in the stable.

Love always protects the family from Christmas hype.

Love always trusts that the hiding places for presents will remain secret for another year.

Love always hopes that this year more neighbors will drop in to your open house coffee morning.

Love always perseveres until the cards are written, the presents all bought, the shopping done, and the Christmas cake iced.

Toys may break, socks wear thin but love never fails.

Where there is the feeling of the presents to guess their contents, and mum going on about being good so Father Christmas will come, and searching through the cupboards to find your hidden presents, they will all stop.

For we think we know what we are getting, and we hope we know what we are getting but when Christmas Day arrives all will be revealed.

When I was a child I talked with big wide-open eyes about Christmas, thought that Christmas was all about me; I reasoned that Jesus should have been born more often. When I became an adult, I forgot the joy, wonder, and excitement of this special time.

Now we just hear about the angels, shepherds, and wise men, then we shall see them all the time. Now I know as much as the Bible says about the first Christmas, then I shall know just how many wise men there were and where they came from.

Now three things remain to be done:

To have faith that the baby born in a stable is the Son of God.

To hope that the true message of Christmas will not get discarded with the wrapping paper and unwanted gifts.

And the most important: to have a love for others like the one that God has for us.

Copyright 2001 Claire Jordan (caleb@eurobell.co.uk). Permission is granted to send this to others, but not for commercial purposes. 

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

A tradition, a friend of mine used to opine, is anything done more than once. He just may have something there. I love tradition; however, many people turn their nose up at the word as though it was a bad smell.

I have always believed tradition is the glue holding families together.

Many important traditions focus on the Christmas season. One tradition in our family centered on the annual Christmas tree. Nobody in our family can remember how this tradition started or even why. I have my suspicions, but some suspicions are better kept to themselves.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - on the shortest day of the year (in the Northern Hemisphere!)

The water tank at Cybersalt World Headquarters has started to leak, but we are thankful it is a very, very slow leak right now. We are also thankful that we (Susan) noticed it when we did so it can be replaced before Christmas. The replacement tank will be free because our current tank is still under warrantee. It was installed on February 20, 2019. I know that because I took an indelible black marker and wrote the date on top after the installer left. I knew the day would come when I wondered when it had been installed.

I did the same thing with each of our children when they were born, but unfortunately the dates eventually wore off, so I had to memorize them instead.

Today's video share is a lively and unique performance of "The 12 Days of Christmas."
Click here to watch the video

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mom if he could have a new bike.  So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus. 

But Sam, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play, said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus. So his mom told him that would be fine.

Sam went to his room and wrote ' Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.'

But he wasn't very happy when he read it over. 

So he decided to try again and this time he wrote 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.'

He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either. 

He tried a third version. 'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.'

He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.

So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach.  After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden.  He crept in, stuffed the statue under his coat, hurried home and hid it under the bed.

Then he wrote this letter.  'Dear Jesus, if you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike.'

The worst part about not buying snacks so you won't eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack!

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

I am terrified of the Santa at the mall where I work.

Our company psychiatrist met with me and has discovered I am Claustrophobic.

"When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things, not the great occasions, give off the greatest glow of happiness."

- Bob Hope

If you like this one, there is another version of the "Love Chapter" (1 Corinthians 13) rewritten for Christmas here. 

+++++++++++++++++++

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime: but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity; but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ,  have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return; but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust; but giving the gift of love will endure.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings, everyone!

After attending a Christmas party last night, with other members of the worship team from our church, Grandma Cybersalt and I seem to have nothing else social on our agenda between now and Christmas day. That's OK with us as we've had a lot on our plates the last month or so, including Susan being plagued by a cough she has just gotten over in the last few days. We'll just use the time to catch up on all of the nothing we are behind in doing!

Today's video share is a Christmas commercial inspired by real events.
Click here to watch the video.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest!

~ Pastor Tim 

1.  If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2.  If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3.  If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend.  Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, (rule #1) yours is also.  It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.

4.  Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move.  This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5.  Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6.  Cookies colored red or green have very few calories.  Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter.  Make more red ones!

7.  Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8.  As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9.  Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.  We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories.  It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!

It's strange there is a setting on every toaster to completely burn the bread.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

“Christmas: That time of year when a wife has to separate the men from the toys.”

- Lee Daniel Quinn

"To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake it is necessary to stand out in the cold."

- Aristotle

My wife and I get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none.

After years of putting up with her pestering, I finally decided I'd had enough and advised her that I would no longer drive with her in the car.

Later that day, on my way home from doing some Christmas shopping at the mall, I heard my cell phone ring as I was merging onto a freeway. It was my wife calling.

By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind me.

"Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

This is the time of the year when churches give way to the Great White Way. I am referring, of course, to the annual Sunday school Christmas program. No church year is complete without this extravaganza. I want to know who started this and why.

Have you ever noticed that many questions have no answers?

At least nobody bothers offering any real answers to some questions. Then there are those questions that come out of left field. They have no logic attached to them and often catch us off guard at the moment of inquisition.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

Click here to view this edition online!  

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Wow - I just spotted so many grammatical mistakes in last week's news! I am behind on my emails so I don't even know whom to thank for pointing them out!

When I first saw today's video share, I asked Grandma Cybersalt if she had ever heard of an 18 string harp guitar. When she replied that she had not, I knew we were probably both in for a treat - and I was right!
Click here to watch the video

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

~ Pastor Tim 

Meowy Christmas from your loving cat.
Aren't I cute? Now leave me alone.
--Ann Bartow

---------------------

I've always loved the Christmas Feast.
I've heard this year it's ham.
Too bad I've other plans this time.
Love, Your Pot-bellied Pig named Sam.
--Ed Smith

---------------------

FROM YOUR PARROT
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Jingle bells! Jingle bells...
--Kevin Wickart

---------------------

You feed, pet and house me.
And I love you for that.
But stop calling me your "kid."
I'm just a stupid cat.
--Brian Jones

---------------------

I want to say I love you,
Before anything could spoil it.
So don't look in the living room
That new carpet? I just soiled it.
--John Gephart

---------------------

As watchman-cat, I've done my job,
The house is safe once more.
That shiny stuff that stormed the tree
Is dead now on the floor.
--Larry Hollister

---------------------

We, your cats, at Christmas say,
Thanks for caring for us each day.
We love this season, all green and red,
And by the way, the hamster's dead.
--Peter Bauer

I never understood how the little drummer boy's parents could just send him outside alone at night to play his drum until my daughter brought a recorder home from school.

"Be a Billionaire!"

and Help

Refugees and

Persecuted Christians

"Christmas is a time when lots of people get Santa-mental."

"It's what you give that makes an impact on this world, regardless of the things you have."

- Jennifer Betts

Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year. (This happens when you combine a headstrong three-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.)

Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and doesn't like it when children fight. This had little impact.

"I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior," the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed.

Sarah's eyes grew big as her mother asked "Mrs. Claus" (really Sarah's aunt; Santa's real line was busy) if she could put Santa on the line.

Sarah's mouth dropped open as Mom described to Santa (Sarah's uncle) how the two-year-old was acting.

But, when Mom said that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Sarah, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done.

After a long moment, Mom (holding in her chuckles at being so clever) asked, "What did Santa say to you, dear?"

In almost a whisper, Sarah sadly but matter-of-factly stated, "Santa said he won't be bringing toys to my sister this year."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Rev. James Snyder, God's Penman, writes . . . . 

Lately, I’ve been having some fascinating dreams at night. Usually, I don’t give much thought to dreams, but lately, I’ve been thinking more about them.

Last night, for example, I had this exciting dream, and everything seemed to be coming in my direction, and then I woke up before the end. Once I woke up, I did not know how the dream ended.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.