She has the personality of a dial tone.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
Never lend money to a friend; it ruins their memory.
A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.
More money is now spent amusing children than was spent on the education of their grandparents.
One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
four to go,
and twenty when you get back for the babysitter.
She suffers in silence louder than anyone I know!
Vacation: What you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking all along!
She drives a vehicle that costs $1,000 a mile ... a shopping cart.
She calls her car "flattery" because it gets her nowhere.
Overheard: Young bride to friend ...
"I'm glad my parents chose my husband for me; I'd hate to think I'd picked him myself."
He who hesitates is interrupted!
Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.
If at first you DO succeed, try to hide your astonishment!
The only problem with buying a book on amnesia is that you are likely to forget where you put it!