Middle Age: When a broad mind and a narrow waist change places.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
It's true that money talks ... mine just said, "Good-bye!"
Overweight: Living beyond your seams.
Marriage is like strong horseradish; you can praise it and still have tears in your eyes.
The perfect gift for a wife who has everything - a husband who can pay for it!
There's one thing about being bald - it's neat!
My husband and I have a magical relationship - whenever I ask him to do something, he disappears!
To everyone that received a book from me for Christmas, they're due back at the library on Friday.
One of the hardest decisions in life is when to start middle age.
If you're such a good cook, why do we have to pray before every meal?
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
- Rodney Dangerfield
Not saying I live in a rough area, but just bought an advent calendar and half the windows are boarded up!
I'm only talking to my dog today.
Here I am - now what are your other two wishes?
The first Christmas was pretty simple ... it's okay if yours is too.