"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Self-Annihilating Sentences
I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
Why should I consider your questions, when you don't even know the answers?
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time...
but you can never fool mom.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
A little pain never hurt anyone.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: If you think about it long enough, you'll see that it's obvious.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
You have one choice
Self-Annihilating Sentences
You have the distinction of being the only one who is not exceptional.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
Way down deep, he's shallow.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Idols depend on you; God doesn't.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
"Things that upset a chihuahua may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
- Smiley Blanton
"Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?"