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Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
If you are subscribed to the Cybersalt Digest only, you may not realize that Chicken Thursday Cybersalt News updates also go to my PearlyGates list. That list features clean, theologically incorrect jokes. And if you are only subscribed to the PearlyGates list; vice-versa!
All this is to explain this special note to PearlyGates subscribers that there hasn't been a mailing for a couple of weeks because I had to redesign the newsletter template after a major upgrade to my newsletter sending system (the Cybersalt Digest got its new template this past Sunday.)
I am really happy with the results and am enjoying having this overdue upgrade off of my to do list. I spend so much time working on other's people's websites that my own sites are often neglected in the same way a mechanic ends up not working on his own car.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Behavior Modification
One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office.
When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her.
"I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"
One-Liner #1505
While these results may seem rather trivial, their importance cannot be underestimated.
"Be a Billionaire!"
and Help
Refugees and
Persecuted Christians
Fractions
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8!
Quote #1943
"Grief, after all, is part of love."- N. T. Wright
Suffering
The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.
The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.
Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Little Johnny was thrilled when his turn came to enter kindergarten. To make sure he had plenty of time to eat breakfast and get ready on the first day, his mother woke everybody up early -- so early that it was still dark.
The part of the automobile responsible for most accidents is the nut holding the steering wheel .
A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape,
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both came from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?"
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action.
Elizabeth was surprised to receive ten dollars from her Aunt for her birthday. The Aunt asked how she was going to spend it.
The Five Symptoms of Laziness:
Wear sleeveless shirts! Support your right to bare arms!
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway.
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!" Maybe she'll laugh; maybe you'll die.
Why do you put band-aids in the fridge?
There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m.,regardless of their medical condition.