Issue #4563    

 

   

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

There was an interesting phenomena in the sky last night. I'm not talking about the lunar eclipse (which we did not see here at Cybersalt World Headquarters) nor am I talking the beautiful full moon that graced our clear skies all night. I am talking about the metallic smell I noticed when I opened our bedroom window as we went to bed.

As I have undoubtedly mentioned before, we live approximately 16 miles across the Salish sea from the USA. Each year, on July the 4th, we can see the celebratory fireworks up and down the coast line of the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State. Last night, after all the lights and booms were over and the smoke had cleared the over there, it made over to us. The night sky often holds surprises.

As providence would have it, I watched this video last night about a feature of the sky I knew nothing about! For all the complaining that some do about how bad the internet is, I must say I think there is a whole bunch that is great about it; learning of the existence things like this being one of them. And, of course, connecting with you is another one!

This week, Rev. James Snyder and his wife both agree about the desirability of television being in Heaven.. You can read "Will There Be Television in Heaven?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/will-there-be-television-in-heaven

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     

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Today's CleanLaugh

Where'd We Get Him?

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny."

Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!"

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1489

I’m deeply disturbed by how many people seem to see washing their hands as a new thing.

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Today's Clean Pun

Pastor Search

A church was looking for a new minister, and the selection committee finally recommended a young man just out of the seminary. Many older church members protested that a more experienced man would have been preferable.

Committee members responded with the argument that a younger minister might breathe fresh life into the congregation.

At the end of the meeting, one commented to another older member that this marked the beginning of better things for their church.

"Yes," the elder said with a wry smile. "Looks like we're moving on to greener pastors."

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Today's Quote

Quote #1927

"The true expression of Christian character is not in good-doing, but in God-likeness."

- Oswald Chambers

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Today's Illustration

Worship

In a local church, a priest upset over the ringing of cell phones during his masses has installed an electronic jammer in his church to prevent the distraction...

I can just see God now walking around saying, "Can you hear Me now? Can you hear Me now? Can you hear Me now?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Thanks to Kathie M. for today's chicken picture. She has sent so many pictures (and I'm not complaining) I bet when her chickens see her they think, "Great, there's the paparazzi again!"

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

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Today's CleanLaugh

Picnic Passions

A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.

"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Frobisher's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"

The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1488

I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.

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Today's Clean Pun

Twin Pun

A fellow and his wife in Houston, Texas, where the people are all patriots, were blessed with the birth of twins, two identical girls. These twins were born on the 4th of July, and the father, being patriotic, said to his wife, "We will name them Liberty and Justice, after the pledge of allegiance."

His wife said, "Are you nuts? You can't have girls going through life with names like Liberty and Justice. We are going to name them regular girl's names like Mary or Jane".

Well, the argument went on for about a month, when a compromise was reached. They would each name one of the girls. The man chose Liberty and the wife picked Elizabeth.

As the girls grew, they were so identical, they kept pulling tricks on people who couldn't tell them apart.

Finally, when they were about 18, a young man took interest in them. He would take one out on a date but he was never sure which one he was with.

He decided he would marry at least one of them, but he wasn't sure which one he would marry.

He went to the girls father and explained his quandary.

"I love your daughters and want to marry one of them, but I can't tell them apart, so I will leave it up to you.

Give me Liberty or give me Beth."

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Today's Quote

Quote #1926

"When people fear their government there is tyranny; when the government fears the people there is liberty."

- Thomas Jefferson

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Today's Illustration

Life Is Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each other's cups."

Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.

Enjoy your coffee. Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections. 

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone! Today's mailing is going out late because of  . . . . sleep. I chose sleep instead of finishing it up.

You know, like most people I often feel pretty smart because there are some things I'm pretty smart about. But there is so much to be smart about in the world and it only takes someone with different smarts to remind me that in the grand scheme of things I'm not unusually smart. Lol, don't feel bad for me because the same is true for you too!

One of my friends that is "different smart" is Dr. Rick August. Rick has a PHD in traffic safety: his dissertation was on the transition from horse and buggy to automobiles in Australia. OK, I realize at first thought some of you may be thinking "Traffic Nerd Alert" but that's where the whole "there's lots to be smart about" thing kicks in. Over the years Rick and I have been working on his YouTube channel and business of teaching people to drive and there have been many times he has blown me away with his intelligence and insight into all things driver training. Which brings me to today's video.

Rick asked me to share a video with you and a link to a petition (http://chng.it/gsD9JvbQ) because, due to COVID-19, if some governments don't change their approach to licensing new drivers some of our kids and grandkids, not to mention other adults looking to survive economically by getting driving jobs, are going to have to wait years to be tested. I know the topic is a bit different for a Sunday, but when a friend wakes you up late at night to loan you bread because he has had company arrive, you get up and give him bread! BTW, my friend is living in quite a bit of pain these days and waiting for back surgery to correct it. If you are a person who prays, please pray for him.

This week, Rev. James Snyder gets caught practicing poor listening and tries to get out of it by speaking to his wife before thinking. You can read "My Thoughts Are Worth More Than a Penny" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/my-thoughts-are-worth-more-than-a-penny

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

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Today's CleanLaugh

Medical Alert

A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs."

The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?"

The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1487

In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to.

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Today's Clean Pun

Balogna Fly

A fly was buzzing along one morning when he saw a lawn mower someone had left out in their front yard. He flew over and sat on the handle, watching the children going down the sidewalk on their way to school.

One little boy tripped on a crack and fell, spilling his lunch on the sidewalk. He picked himself up, put his lunch back in the bag and went on. But he missed a piece of bologna. The fly had not eaten that morning and he sure was hungry. So he flew down and started eating the bologna. In fact he ate so much that he could not fly, so he waddled across the sidewalk, across the lawn, up the wheel of the lawn mower, up the handle, and sat there resting and watching the children.

There was still some bologna laying there on the sidewalk. He was really stuffed, but that baloney sure did look good.

Finally temptation got the best of him and he jumped off the handle of the lawn mower to fly over to the baloney. But alas he was too full to fly and he went splat!!, killing him instantly.

The moral of the story: Don't fly off the handle when you are full of baloney.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1925

"Our calling ... isn't to follow our hearts. Our calling is to have our hearts informed by, directed by, the clear and plain teaching of the Word of God."

- R. C. Sproul Jr.

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Today's Illustration

Missions

During the days of the British Raj, a missionary went among the Indians and tried to tell them about Christianity. He explained how Heaven would belong to the faithful.

One Indian said, "Your Heaven can't be all that good."

The missionary explained again why it would indeed be wonderful.

The Indian replied, "Then why haven't the British taken it over?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

  Issue #4560    

 

   

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I want to give a shout out to subscriber John P. today. I had a chance to connect with John over the phone a few days ago and it was really nice getting to know him a bit. John has been diagnosed with a brain tumor and I know he would appreciate your prayers for him and his wife at this time.

One of the special things I learned about John is that he has a passion for comics (the book type and not the stand-up type.) That reminded me of one of my favorite PearlyGates list jokes. So to give John a virtual "tip of the hat today" I am rerunning it. Remember, the PearlyGates list features clean, theologically incorrect jokes that aren't necessarily everyone's cup of tea. So, if you do follow this link and you find it more "spew" than "stew" for your humorous digestion, don't say I didn't warn you. You can read "Another Reason Not to Drink" at:
www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/another-reason-not-to-drink

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     

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Today's CleanLaugh

Finally Heard

Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for coffee.

The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found.

"He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the four little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!"

"He said 'Will you marry me?'" Marcy asked.

Heather replied, "No. He said 'Put your money away.'"

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1486

And your cry-baby whiny opinion would be...?

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Today's Clean Pun

Getting at the Root

“If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?”

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Today's Quote

Quote #1924

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."

- Martin Luther King

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Today's Illustration

Differing Perspectives

Before our daughter went off to college, our family took a vacation in Colorado, flying to Denver and renting a car.

We visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River.

Walking out onto the bridge, I noticed it swayed in the wind. Then a car went past us, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath my feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," I finally said.

"What are you worried about?" our daughter replied. "It's a rental."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.