Issue #4559
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
Also, Happy Father's Day to all of you for whom it is a celebration. You can find a bunch of Father related material on the Cybersalt Site at:
www.cybersalt.org/fathers-day
Have you every heard of the "Brown Eye, Blue Eye Experiment" that third-grade teacher Jane Elliott taught her students? That's the video I want to share with you today:
This week, Rev. James Snyder and his wife reminisce about Aunt Flora; a very grouchy, complaining old woman. You can read "When Everything Fails, It’s Over" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/when-everything-fails-it-s-over
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Four Waiting Fathers
Four expectant fathers were in a Minnesota hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor.
The nurse comes in and tells the first man, "Congratulations, You're the father of twins."
"What a coincidence!" the man exclaims. "I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team!"
The nurse returns a short while later and tells the second man, "You are the father of triplets."
"Wow, what a coincidence!" he replies. "I work for the 3M Corporation."
When the nurse comes again, she tells the third man that his wife has given birth to quadruplets.
"Another coincidence!" he tells her. "I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!"
At this point, the fourth guy faints. When he comes to, the others ask him what was wrong.
He moans, "I work for Seven-Eleven!"
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1485
They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a dog about to puke; nothing gets you out of bed faster!
Today's Clean Pun
H2Go
The cheapest and best place to buy water is at a liquidation sale.
Today's Quote
Quote #1923
"Love is like a beard. If you let it grow, soon it'll be the first thing people notice about you."
- unknown
Today's Illustration
The Fatherhood Cycle
4 years: "My Daddy can do anything."
7 years: "My Dad knows a lot, a whole lot."
12 years: "Oh, well - naturally - Father doesn't know that either."
14 years: "Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned."
21 years: "Oh, that man is so out-of-date. What did you expect?"
25 years: "He knows a little bit about it - but not much."
30 years: "Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks."
35 years: "Let's ask Dad what he would do before we make a decision."
40 years: "I wonder what Dad would have thought about that? He was pretty smart."
50 years: "My Dad knew absolutely everything."
60 years: "I'd give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him. I really miss that man."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A guy came home to his wife and said, "Guess what? I've found a great job. It has a 10 a.m. start, a 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!"
So in retrospect, in 2015, not a single person got the answer right to, "Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?"
Sir Lancelot dreamed about overthrowing King Arthur.
A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date, I'd disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came, I was pleased that my friend's prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well mannered.
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther.
How long is this social-distancing thing supposed to last? My husband keeps trying to come into the house.
1. When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
Happiness is a competitive advantage.
Marriage is grand ... Divorce is about ten grand.
Prior to our wedding, David and I met with the minister to discuss our marriage ceremony and various traditions, such as lighting the unity candle from two individual candles.
The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up.
This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19;
Never use wet wood in your fireplace.
This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie.