Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and a fresh one at that!
Grandma Cybersalt and I have returned from our travels. We were in Ontario to visit with family and to attend the Associated Gospel Churches National Convention in Niagara Falls (Slowly I turn . . . step by step . . .)
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline
You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.
Before you take off, the flight attendant tells you to fasten your Velcro.
The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.
The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he says, "Just once."
No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.
All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1289
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey
Today's Clean Pun
Bruined
Did you hear about the bruin that was seen riding a horse and using a long stick to hit a little white ball?
It was a very rare sighting of a polo bear.
Today's Quote
Quote #1730
"When he called his society together, Jesus gave its members a new way of life to live.
- He gave them a new way to deal with offenders - by forgiving them;
- He gave them a new way to deal with violence - by suffering;
- He gave them a new way to deal with money - by sharing it;
- He gave them a new way to deal with problems of leadership - by drawing upon the gift of every member, even the most humble;
- He gave them a new way to deal with a corrupt society - by building a new order, not smashing the old;
- He gave them a new pattern of relationship between man and woman, between parent and child, between master and slave, in which was made concrete a radical new vision of what it means to be a human person."
- Stanley Hauerwas
Today's Illustration
Enjoying Work
My husband and I had gone to a restaurant with friends. When the hostess led us to a circular booth, we noticed the vinyl seat was covered with crumbs and asked if it could be cleaned off.
The young woman sat down at one end of the booth, slid around to the other side, then sprang up with a smile as she asked, "Did I get it all?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A story is told of an unemployed man who is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.
Self-Annihilating Sentences
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
On the weekend of the biggest motorcycle gathering of the year, I was bar-tending at a club nearby. When the roaring machines pulled up outside, our patrons' eyes swung toward the door and conversation turned into uneasy whispering.
Three pastors were having lunch together at a diner.
"I hate being half bicycle - half motorcycle!" he moped.
A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her.