Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I recently picked up a new-to-me camera for a big project I am working on for a client next week. In playing around with it, to learn its settings, this is one of the pictures I took (cropped in this version). I hope that regardless of whatever thing (or person) is bugging you today, the sun is shining brightly!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
CD Entrance
At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would like to enter the service to.
One family asked to enter to "Love Me Tender."
Well, the day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for the family to walk into the service.
Unfortunately, the wrong track number was entered into the CD player, and the family found themselves walking in to "Return to Sender."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1299
One day, Canada will take over the world; then you'll all be sorry.
Today's Clean Pun
Informal Sweets
Penguin PEZ: Let's dispense with the formalities.
Today's Quote
Quote #1740
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God."
- Corrie ten Boom
Today's Illustration
Sleeping on the Job
One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest...
"As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Been on a diet for two weeks and all I lost is 14 days.
Not-Evangelism: When a waiter asks you how you want your steak cooked, never say, "Well done, good & faithful servant."
A 17-year-old girl had just gotten her driver's license and offered to take her mom's car to the gas station. She pulled up to the full-service pumps, and the attendant asked, "What grade, miss?"
A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very worried and all strung out.
When I told my parents over the phone that my husband has the flu, my dad said, "Have you tried euthanasia?" and in the background, my mom yelled, "For the last time, it's echinacea!"
Real butter fans: Too long they have been margarinalized.
On Houston Street, a young priest saw a large sign over a hardware store: PINCUS AND O'TOOLE, and went in, to be greeted by man with a beard and yarmulke.
The future isn't what it used to be.
To test my faith, I sometimes look right at the 1% mild and ask, "Wilt thou be made whole??"
A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky.
Tongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat.
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found.