Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
Last week I shared a picture of a very young me with my very young dad (though at the time I did not know he was young too) and invited you to guess the make and model of the car we were sitting in. Thanks to everyone who guessed. Nobody got it right and I think the most disappointed guesser will be subscriber Greg C. who suggested a 1965-66 Ford Mustang Fastback. As you can see from this week's picture, that car was a 1973 Plymouth Duster. For nostalgia's sake, I'd love to have that Duster today. For fun, I'd take the Mustang Fastback!
For those of you who have followed Rev. James Snyder for a long time, you will not be surprised to know that Apple Fritters have been part of another episode in his life and marriage. You can read "The Parsonage Kitchen Shutdown Threat" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/the-parsonage-kitchen-shutdown-threat
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
One Question Interview
A handyman, who was working for a Synagogue, had asked for a raise and was turned down. He decided to quit and went out to look for work.
First, he went to a Catholic church and was told that in order to work there he would have to answer one question. The priest asked, "Where was Jesus born?"
The man answered, "Pittsburgh," and was thrown out on his ear.
He then went to a Baptist church. The minister told him that in order to get a job there, he would have to answer a question. He was asked, "Where was Jesus born?"
The man answered, "Philadelphia." He was promptly tossed out.
Walking away he met the rabbi who was looking for him. The rabbi exclaimed, "The board approved your raise. Please come back immediately."
The man said to the rabbi, "I will come back only if you answer a question. Where was Jesus born?"
The rabbi says, "Bethlehem."
"Of course!" cried the man. "I knew it was in Pennsylvania."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1294
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Today's Clean Pun
You Can Call Me Ray
My friend David lost his ID. Now we just call him Dave.
Today's Quote
Quote #1735
"To love to preach is one thing, to love those to whom we preach quite another."
- D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones
Today's Illustration
White Lies
Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this, especially if you are one of the ladies who bake for church events...
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after running through cabinets, she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.
When Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She thought to herself, "Oh dear. There is no time to bake another cake."
This cake was very important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church and in her new community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom-- a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect.
Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it opened at 9:30, and to buy the cake and bring it home.
When her daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her mom. Alice was horrified. She was beside herself. Everyone would know! What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a new acquaintance, and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from one of the founding families of Tuscaloosa. But having already RSVP'd, she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home.
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South...and to Alice's horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert. Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, "Thank you. I baked it myself."
Alice smiled and thought to herself, "GOD is good."
© Peter Wales 1997, Used with permission.
Include this copyright notice if used in a church bulletin or elsewhere.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next table discussing their bill.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it's that a lot of you are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.
Each Friday night I drove my wife to the station for the train to Weimar, CA, so she could visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, my sister arrived by train from Sacramento to manage our household over the weekend. On Sundays, this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train ten minutes before my wife arrived.
10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
I look both ways before crossing a one-way street; that's how little faith I have in humanity!
Arranging Goliath's funeral ...
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.
Money can buy a house, but not a home.
If I had a dollar for every time I used algebra in my adult life, I'd have 'n' dollars.
A friend of mine said she didn't understand cloning.
A man rushed to the jewelry counter in the store where I work soon after the doors opened one morning and said he needed a pair of diamond earrings. I showed him a wide selection, and quickly he picked out a pair.
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area.
"Oh, the majesty of French Justice, which forbids rich and poor, alike, to sleep on park benches!"
"Nothing is written in stone."
