Your Source of Cyber Salt for the Cyber World

sign up for free cybersalt today button

  • Home
  • Blogs
    • Archives
    • Ask Juan
    • God's Penman
    • Guest Authors
    • Moving With God
    • Shirley Choat
    • Simply Susan
    • Suneel Barkat
    • Susan Page
    • Totally Tim
  • Entertainment
    • Cartoons
    • Clean Jokes
    • Clean Puns
    • Fun Blog
    • Funny Pictures
    • One-liners
    • Games
    • Pearly Gates Jokes
    • Daily Cartoon
    • Random Jokes
    • Cybersalt Digest Archive
    • Your Turn to Be Funny
  • Inspiration
    • Body of Christ Connection
    • Illustrations
    • Quotes
    • Random Quotes
    • Truth and Reconciliation
    • Videos
  • News
    • Cybersalt News
    • News Feeds
    • Letters
    • Better Computing
  • Support
    • Web Hosting Packages
    • Domain Registration
    • Web Design
    • Login
    • FaceBook Modules
    • Contact Support
    • Our Mission
  • Archive

Cybersalt Digest Archive

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3860 - April 22, 2012


Issue #3860


Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone.

My message from last week has been uploaded to the Westside Bible Church web site. You'll find "Proclaiming Truth" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/proclaiming-truth

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. 


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Lawyer Laughs

law officesThe following questions from lawyers were taken from official records nationwide:

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

3. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'
Q: Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

8. Do you have children or anything of that kind?

9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes
Q: What were you doing at the time?

13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14. So you were gone until you returned?

15. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None
Q: Were there girls?

16. You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Budget Burial

  • What Cats Do

  • Flat Screen TV

  • Grandma Slots

  • Security Gate


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0843

"If we're not supposed to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?"fridge


Here is today's CleanPun

Lactose Intolerance

"The most aggressive form of lactose intolerance is cow tipping."cow


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1292

fire“There are three things in life that people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire and a Zamboni clearing the ice.”
- Charlie Brown


Here is today's Illustration

Attending Church

hawaiian churchAfter Sunday service a young couple talked to the pastor about joining the church. He hadn't met the husband before, so he asked what church he was transferring from.

The husband looked down at his feet and replied, "I am transferring from the Municipal Golf Course."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3859 - April 21, 2012


Issue #3859


Cybersalt News

There is a new funny car picture on the Cybersalt Site today.  You will find "Budget Burial" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/budget-burial

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing. 


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Walking Out

pedestrian pictogram"I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon."

"I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied.

"It's not a reflection on you, sir," insisted the churchgoer.

"Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Budget Burial

  • What Cats Do

  • Flat Screen TV

  • Grandma Slots

  • Security Gate


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0842

ear "Women don't want to hear what you think.  Women want to hear what they think . . . in a deeper voice."
- Bill Cosby



Here is today's CleanPun

Parts of Me

"I may not be funny but parts of me are humerus."skeleton


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1291

grass‎"When it comes to your marriage, if the grass looks greener somewhere else, it's time to water your own yard!"
- Craig Groeschel


Here is today's Illustration

Flirting, Faithfulness, Adultery

elevatorsAs the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3858 - April 20, 2012


Issue #3858


Cybersalt News

This is a milestone day for me and Mrs. Cybersalt.  Not since September 4, 2001 have we not had any teenagers. Happy Birthday Esther-Bunny!

There is a new entry in the Funblog today. You will find "World's Biggest Alarm Clock" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/world-s-biggest-alarm-clock

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Cat T-Shirts

catmelonhead150x127If cats wore t-shirts, here is what they might say.

"Purrfection cannot be improved"

"If you don't like my attitude, you should see my cat"

"Menopaws, This is the hottest I've been in years."

"Take my advice. I'm not using it."

"I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"

"Cats know how we feel. They don't care, but they know."

"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff."

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. They have never forgotten this."

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • What Cats Do

  • Flat Screen TV

  • Grandma Slots

  • Security Gate

  • Unexpected Fishing Catch


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0841

Thank you…Black Socks with Sandals, for officially declaring to the world, “I've stopped trying.”



Here is today's CleanPun

Formula Cheat

formulaDuring an examination, the student was not able to answer the question so he copied the answer from another good student, The answer to the problem was 'log(1+x)'.

He didn't want to make it obvious that he was cheating, so he changed the answer to 'timber(1+x)'.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1290

"The thing about quotes on the internet is you cannot confirm their validity."
- Abraham Lincoln 


Here is today's Illustration

Name Calling

marathonLast year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"

I replied: "You really want to know?"

Then I dropped out of the race.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3857 - April 19, 2012


Issue #3857


Cybersalt News

Due to an error between my seat and my keyboard, yesterday's news was actually the news from the day before.  To correct this error, yesterday's news is now today's news.

There is a new funny cat picture on the Cybersalt site today.  You will find "What Cats Do" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/what-cats-do 

There is also a new entry in the FunBlog today.  When you watch "A Real Page Turner" you'll wonder how the guy has time to read!
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/a-real-page-turner

It's been a while since I featured Cybersalt's Social Media pages (I like being social).  Here they are with the newest one first, so please feel free to pin, tweet, and like until your heart is content.

Pinterest - pinterest.com/cybersalt
Twitter - twitter.com/cybersalt
Facebook - www.facebook.com/cybersaltsite

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Memory Clinic

single red_roseTwo elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."

"That's great! And what was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!"

Fred turned to his wife.

"Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • What Cats Do

  • Flat Screen TV

  • Grandma Slots

  • Security Gate

  • Unexpected Fishing Catch


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0840

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data"



Here is today's CleanPun

As They Get Old Pun - Part 3

old-mikeAs They Get Old . . .

Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plain.

Old policemen never die, they just cop out.

Old preachers never die, they just ramble on, and on, and on, and on....

Old printers never die, they're just not the type.

Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.

Old programming wizards never die, they just recurse.

Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.

Old schools never die, they just lose their principals.

Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles.

Old seers never die, they just lose their vision.

Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.

Old skateboarders never die, they just lose their bearings.

Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.

Old Soldiers never die. Young ones do.

Old steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.

Old students never die, they just get degraded.

Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.

Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.

Walt Disney didn't die. He's in suspended animation.

Old white water rafters never die, they just get disgorged.

Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1289

dragon"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."
- G.K. Chesterson


Here is today's Illustration

Communication

brown bagA bricklayer at my husband's construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box. "I'm sick and tired of getting the same old thing!" he shouted one day. "Tonight I'll set my wife straight."

The next day the men could hardly wait until lunchtime to hear what happened. "You bet I told her off," the bricklayer boasted. "I said, 'No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!' We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across.

He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut - and a hammer.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3855 - April 17, 2012


Issue #3855


Cybersalt News

There is a new entry in the FunBlog today.  I think you will enjoy "Escalator Dog" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/escalator-dog

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing


Here is today's CleanLaugh

Tim Robbed

hat in_the_coldOne night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him.

Tim and the thief were began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Tim put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned Tim to the ground.

When the thief went through Tim's pockets all he could find on Tim was 25 cents. He was so surprised at this he asked why Tim had bothered to fight so hard for 25 cents.

"Was that all you wanted?" Tim replied, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in my shoe!"

Be A
Cybersalt Fan
on
facebook_199x74


Latest Funny Pictures

  • Flat Screen TV

  • Grandma Slots

  • Security Gate

  • Unexpected Fishing Catch

  • House Rent Reduction


Want to share this edition of the Cybersalt Digest with your friends?


{forward}Forward via e-mail{/forward}


Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0838

"Stop anthropomorphizing tools - they hate it."



Here is today's CleanPun

World Coveting Championship

World Coveting Championship: Looks likes this year's contest will come down to who wants it more.


Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1287

"Pay attention to your enemies, for they are the first to discover your mistakes."
- Antisthenes


Here is today's Illustration

Sense of Humor

tree in_rainsA forestry-service employee was recording the rainfall in his area. One drizzly day, his thoughts were apparently elsewhere as he typed "thirty three inches" instead of "thirty-three hundredths of an inch" into the computer.

It was obvious that the machine had been programmed by someone with a sense of humor, for this message quickly appeared on the screen "Build the ark. Gather the animals two by two..."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.


The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

End of Newsletter

{modify}To Modify your Subscription Click Here{/modify}

  1. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3856 - April 17, 2012
  2. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3854 - April 13, 2012
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3853 - April 12, 2012
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3852 - April 11, 2012

Page 250 of 315

  • 245
  • 246
  • 247
  • 248
  • 249
  • 250
  • 251
  • 252
  • 253
  • 254

Cybersalt

Salt in the cyber world.

Clean humour and real encouragement you can share with anyone — your mother, your pastor, your inbox. Collected here for more than twenty years.

Laughs

  • Clean Jokes
  • Funny Pictures
  • Cartoons — The Back Pew
  • One-Liners
  • Pearly Gates Jokes
  • Games

Encouragement

  • Inspiration
  • Quotes
  • Videos
  • Illustrations
  • Blogs
  • Cybersalt News

The Cybersalt Digest

Clean humour and encouragement delivered free to your inbox.

Subscribe free →

Over 5,100 issues. Unsubscribe anytime.

  • Read the archive
  • Send us something funny

© 1996–2026 Cybersalt Consulting Ltd.

Contact Article Archive Privacy Policy Anti-Spam Policy Subscribe