Why Teachers Go Gray
 These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville, Alabama metropolitan area:
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
Q: What is a Hindu?
A: It lays eggs.
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As Barb was getting to know David and his family, she was very impressed by how much his parents loved each other.
"Autocorrect: It can be your worst enema."
"I am sad to announce that the Origami Society has folded."
He was a good man but a bit stingy. He would bargain and haggle on a price, never paying the price asked. He especially hated paying his medical fees.
*Headlines from 2050*
"There is a ditch is on either side of the path of life. Basically, legalism is on one side and lawlessness on the other. The path of life is between these extremes. Many Christians spend their lives oscillating between these two ditches because of their tendency to overreact to mistakes or failures (of either themselves or leadership)."
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it.
The food in China can be a challenge for newcomers. One example is that chicken is often served "cleaver style," leaving the meat and bones chopped up together, making it difficult to eat.
I decided to lay off the fried foods . . . so if anybody has work for them, I'm sure they'd appreciate it.
The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him.
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"A recent survey found that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population."
A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing the morning service. "I'm sorry I missed you this morning", the pastor said.