Cybersalt News
As Mrs. Cybersalt said a few days ago, I'm sick with a cold. I'm getting better and managed to do some work on the site today so here are some new pages to check out.
Some people and their pets begin to look alike over time. To see a classic example of this head on over to:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/dog-human-face
If you have ever had a bird "bespeckle" your car's windshield and have been thankful that cows don't fly, you may not be in the clear yet:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/extreme-cow-tipping
Pigs are a tough crowd! In fact it's 50/50 whether they like the Cybersalt site or not:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/happy-pigs
And finally, a few weeks ago Rev. James Snyder wrote a devotional commentary about an experience he had with a waitress. While some of you really enjoyed it, others did not, and a few picked up torches and pitchforks and began looking for where he lived. Well, James has lived to write another day- this time about a different waitress he recently encountered. Read "A Waitress after My Own Heart" before making up your mind whether or not you want to rip James' out.
http://www.cybersalt.org/god-s-penman/a-waitress-after-my-own-heart
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Church Bulletin Bloopers"
The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!
* Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.
* Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'
* Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale; it is a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
* Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
* Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
* The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
* The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Today's CleanPun
"When the wheel was invented it caused a revolution."
Today's One Liner
"Carbohydrates: The stuff that makes food taste good."
Today's CleanQuote
"Let the power of love replace the love of power."
Today's Illustration - "What's Important Is…"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
What's important is...
not what kind of car you drive,
but rather how many people you give a lift.
What's important is...
not the size of your house,
but rather the number of people you welcome into your home.
What's important is...
not your social status,
but whether you live your life with class.
What's important is...
not what you possess,
but rather what you give.
What's important is...
not how many friends you have,
but rather how many to whom you are a friend.
What's important is...
not how much overtime you worked,
but rather if you work overtime for your family and loved ones.
What's important is...
not if you live in a great neighborhood,
but rather how you treat your neighbor.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.