Cybersalt Digest Archive

Cybersalt News

There are two new videos on the Cybersalt Site today. The first one is in the FunBlog. Somebody took 2 weeks to have some fun with a backyard squirrel and the results are impressive. You'll find "Mission Impossible Squirrel" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funblog/7658

The other new video is a heart warming story with a remarkable and faithful man playing a lead role. You'll find "Chris Medina - Man of Character" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/videos/7659

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Restaurant Rating"

I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

"Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were speaking German."

Today's CleanPun

A friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer.

One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up. Glancing at the readout, he chuckled at the announcement:

"Time for service."

Today's One Liner

“My mind contains many good ideas, but it is not always easy to squeeze one out.”

Today's CleanQuote

“He who hesitates is probably right.”

Today's Illustration - "Few Words"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States, was popularly known as "Silent Cal." One time at a party, a woman walked up to him and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you."

Coolidge replied, "You lose."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

When turkey goes bad it can be bad for your stomach, but when a turkey goes bad a whole neighborhood can suffer! You'll see what I mean if you watch "Turkey Goes Postal" at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/funblog/7655

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Ode to a Shedding Cat"

I think that I shall never see
A cat that sheds as much as thee.

Thy fur that sticks is all around
On chairs, on mats in little mounds.

I sweep the floor,
You shed some more.

I wash the rug
And you just shrug.

You should give thanks I tolerate that
Or you would be a crew-cut cat.

Today's CleanPun

“Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.”

Today's One Liner

“Sleep is just an escape for those who cannot handle the hallucinations of insomnia.”

Today's CleanQuote

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

Today's Illustration - "Respect and Position"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

During the eight years he served as Eisenhower's vice president, Richard Nixon had many reminders of the esteem accorded to people in his position. Once, the Nixons were staying at a hotel in Chicago when a fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. Hundreds of guests, including Dick and Pat Nixon, were herded into the lobby.

Once Nixon realized that it was a false alarm, he and his wife headed for the elevator.

"Just a minute," said the hotel's security chief. "Everyone stays in the lobby until we get the all clear."

"I'm the vice president," Nixon said.

"Oh," the security chief said. "Sorry. Go right ahead."

Nixon pressed the elevator button, and the security chief had second thoughts. "Vice president?" he said. "Of what?"

"Of the United States," Nixon answered.

"Get back out here," the security chief said. "I thought you were a vice president of the hotel."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

Oh look, chicken Thursday - and, oh yeah, "Look, Mom! No rocks!"

There is a new Rev. James Snyder devotional on the Cybersalt Site today. James is no American Idol but that's OK - he's not singing for America.
http://www.cybersalt.org/featured-blogs/gods-penman/7654

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Corporate Change"

When the company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, I told my staff to submit entries that would save money for the firm.

The winner was a man in my department who suggested we post corporate memos on bulletin boards instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He got a helium balloon with the company logo and one share of stock.

A memo announcing the prize went out to 200 people.

Today's CleanPun

“Trousers: an unusual word. Singular at the top; plural at the bottom.”

Today's One Liner

At pilot's training back in the Air Corps they taught us, "Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you make."

Today's CleanQuote

“If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!”

Today's Illustration - "E-Parenting"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

Debbie wasn't home, and it was getting awfully late. Not knowing any of her girlfriend's phone numbers, her Mother fired-up Debbie's computer and saw a list of email addresses.

She sent a note to each name asking if they knew where her daughter was.

Within twenty minutes, she got back 16 replies all saying that she wasn't to worry, that Debbie was spending the night at their house and had neglected to telephone.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

There is no new page on the Cybersalt site today. That's news!

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Shaving Comeback"

I can't say I've ever gotten a shave from a barber, but I've seen others who have. I was in a shop once, and an obviously new barber nicked a customer several times while giving him a shave.

The new barber, in an effort to smooth things over asked solicitously, "Do you want your head wrapped in a hot towel?"

"No thanks." said the customer. "I'll carry it home under my arm."

Today's CleanPun

Did you hear about the self help group for compulsive talkers?
It's called On & On Anon.

Today's One Liner

“Here lies Ezekiel Aikle age 102 - the Good Die Young.”

Today's CleanQuote

“Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.”

Today's Illustration - "Introductions"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

One day while shopping, my chatter bug daughter who was three at the time introduced herself to the lady behind us at the check out.

She proceeded to tell the lady her sister's name and then said and to the lady, "This is my mom. Her name is Mom."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.