Cybersalt Digest Archive

Cybersalt News

Usually a new year starts out with the pronouncement of new goals, but today I am happy to announce the completion of a long-time goal! For pretty much 10 years I have hoped to have the complete CleanLaugh archive in an online, searchable system. Today I uploaded 2003 jokes to the Cybersalt Site. These jokes join 1433 which were already there for a grand total of 3436 jokes. This is all in anticipation of new features and options that will come online in the coming months.

Though complete search funtionality is not yet set-up, you can still access these new additions in a couple of ways:

1- You can read the newest jokes in order by going to "Military Computer" and then click next at the end of the joke. Just keep clicking "next" to work your way through all 2003 . Remember to breath!
http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh-archive/5597-military-computer

2- You can filter the jokes by keyword in the title at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/entertainment/jokearchive

Remember, better search options are on the way in the near future.

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today\'s CleanLaugh - "Feeding the Baby"

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?"

"That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?"

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh...what should I feed Lily for lunch?"

Today\'s CleanPun - "Radio City Music Hall"

“There probably aren't many Jewish girls dancing at Radio City Music Hall, but it doesn't take a Rockette Zionist to figure that one out.“
~ Gary Hallock

Today's One Liner

“Honk if you're rich, cute, and love horses.”

Today's CleanQuote

"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."
~Abraham Lincoln

Today's Illustration - "Fashion Sense"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.

"I know," he replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started."

Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented, "I can't stand it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you."

I gently tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair.

"Yeah," he said smiling slyly. "All the girls do, too."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org

Cybersalt News

Hey, does anybody think it's time to give pastor Bob a bigger travel allowance?
http://www.cybersalt.org/funny-misc-pictures/5594

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today\'s CleanLaugh - "Doody Solution"

A little three-year-old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up.

The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says, "Billy, are you all right? You've been in there for a while."

Billy says, "I'm fine, Mommy. I just haven't gone doody yet."

Mother says, "Okay, you can stay in there a few more minutes, but Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says, "Works for ketchup!"

Today\'s CleanPun - " "

“I once knew a poet who would start writing his poetry immediately when he got up. He went from bed to verse.”

Today's One Liner

“When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.”
~ Henny Youngman

Today's CleanQuote

“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge. Other just rinse and spit.”

Today's Illustration - "Garage Retrieval"

Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back.

Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a baseball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.

"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy.

Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!"

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

It's still not too late to start reading through the Bible in 2011. The details are on the Simply Susan blog at:
http://www.cybersalt.org/simply-susan/5589-you-are-invited

Enjoy the rest of today's digest.

Here is today\'s CleanLaugh - "Attendance Sermons"

A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit.

The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, "How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"

"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "Quite honestly, it's a matter of choice. I'd much rather hear your sermon than hers."

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Pastor Tim pastored at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia from November 1996 to October 2017.