Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
One-liners
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.
On the wall of a Baltimore Estate:
Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law - Sisters of Mercy.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Politicians: People who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.
Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
~ Victor Borge
Stupidity is like nuclear power: it can be used for good or evil - but you still don't want to get any on you.
The "problem" with today's society, is that; (no one) knows how, to punctuate correctly, anymore?
The colder the X-ray table the more of you has to be on it.
The first line of the notice said, "Please Take Notice," so I took it.
The meeting of the clairvoyant society has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
The proper response to Good morning, is not Prove it!
The real reason Grandparents and Grandkids get along with each other so well is that they both have a common nemesis.