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Monthly Archive

February 2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 71 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
4275

Keeping Up With the Joneses?

So much time is spent worrying about what the Joneses have! What do they have? A large, new home, extravagantly furnished, is built in the up-scaled district of town. Their transportation has been upg... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2843

College Laundry

My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the February break.When he got off the pla... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4224

Progressive Motherhood

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes -1st baby: You begi... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
5901

At The Foot Of The Cross

They gathered at the Cross that day--the women who loved Him; the guards who stole from Him; the crowd who watched Him--they were all there, to worship, to weep, to mock, to scorn--and to see!  T... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2285

Maine Vets

Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine.After almost an hour of pryin... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3527

Goober Mom Writes Goober Son

Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast.  We don't live where we did when you left.  Your Dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, s... read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
3451

Thessalonian Evidence

Have you ever worried about someone, about how they were doing or how things would turn out? For several years a woman had been having trouble getting to sleep at night because she feared burglars. On... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2295

Mother Ring

While picking up a prescription, I noticed that the woman who gave me my medication was wearing a beautiful mother's ring. "I love your ring," I said. "It's very similar to mine." And I held out my h... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4178

Have More Fun at Church

After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up. "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3222

Restoration In Montreal

I was raised with all the tenets of The Church, and tried to do all the right things, say all the right prayers, keep all the right ordinances. I left it, convinced I just wasn't good enough for God. ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4473

How You Can Tell It's Going to Be a Rotten Day

-You wake up face down on the pavement. -You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. -You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office. -Your birthday cake collapses from the weigh read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
4278

The One Great Sermon That Got Away

Most people don't realize ministers are obligated to prepare and preach one great sermon in their career. In looking over my record of sermons, I noticed many "good" sermons, but an obvious lack in th... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2328

Rattlesnakes

Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes a... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3615

The Man Who Came By Night

If you have ever been annoyed or rude with a telemarketer, there is a true story you should hear: In May 2002, Leonardo Diaz, a Colombian hiker, decided to do some serious mountain climbing wi... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6801

Cheap Perfume

After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.  "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "Tha... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2849

Jewelry Store Application

Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca Raton. She was seeking a qualified person to fill the recently vacant position of salesperson. Sarah, an outspok... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
5543

Waltrip Almost Did It Again

Anxiety and doubt plague many NASCAR drivers during SPEEDWEEKS.  Lying awake at night they toss and turn wondering what trouble will befall them as the big Daytona 500 approaches. But Michael Wa... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3981

Kids on Marriage

Kids on marriage.... How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?******- "You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one." Kally, age 9 - "You got to find somebo... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2333

Bad Flight

While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in the lake.Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat bel... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
4557

What Impression Will You Leave Behind?

We do want people to remember us when we are gone. But, what will they remember?  Have we done our best to be of good character, compassionate to others, living a good life before others,  a... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3519

One Little Square

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, "Mum, what`s sex?" His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2300

Goober Release

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberOne day a goober went to a sea food restaurant and saw the ta... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3968

Steeple Paint

The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot day.  The painter was about half-way down and, as the steeple was widening out, was taking more and more pain... read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
2609

Perfectly Broken

I once had a friend named Harvey, a great big guy that worked with us in the construction and renovation of houses.   Harvey    was really valued because he was crazy with a s... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2363

Get Better Soon

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny ... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3798

In My House, If It's Broken I Bought It

Often a store has a sign with the warning, "You break it, you bought it." This is to keep people from carelessly handling the merchandise. I'm thinking of another sign, which should be posted all thr... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3651

"Not" Working

Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Jonestown, Oklahoma, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.  So, I want to go ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2476

Government Car

As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn't have to walk far. Staring at h... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2970

$100.00 Please

A little boy, who wanted $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.  Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
4036

Give It Up!

The little girl clutched her play necklace, a fake to be sure, but a favorite.  Her dad, having a planned surprise for his little girl, said, "I have something special for you; open your hand!"&n... read more..

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