Issue #4488
Cybersalt News
Happy Birthday Dad!Sunday greetings everyone - and happy birthday to my dad!
This week's man-cold may have actually been a man-flu! I have recovered to the point of having to try to stay awake during the day and trying to sleep during the night (and not vice versa).
It seems others are recognizing that Rev. James Snyder is getting older - and he's just fine with that. You can read "I Wasn’t Born Old It Just Happened That Way" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/i-wasn-t-born-old-it-just-happened-that-way
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
House Points
"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm going to tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1414
Self-Annihilating Sentence
This book fills a much-needed gap.
Today's Clean Pun
Farm Talk
Studies have shown that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.
Today's Quote
Quote #1855
"Men do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself but because it contradicts them."
- Paul Harvey
Today's Illustration
Making Friends
My husband, a forester, often has to consult property owners to determine boundary lines.
Walking up a dirt road to question one such individual, he encountered signs that read: "No Trespassing," "Beware of Dog," and "Keep Out... This Means You!"
Finally arriving at the door, he talked with the congenial, cooperative landowner.
When my husband was ready to leave, the man said to him, "Come and see me again sometime. I don't get many visitors up this way."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday.
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Self-Annihilating Sentence
"I'll have to telegraph him again," Tom said remorsefully.
I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss.
Sunday greetings everyone!
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself!
"I've lost a lot of weight," Tom expounded.
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Day number 180
Self-Annihilating Description
Patient: Mind if I turn on the nitrous oxide?
"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13-year-old son."
Sunday greetings everyone - and happy September!
Dr. Cutter is the local veterinarian in Kennebec County, Maine. He was well-known in town for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a city dog was brought to him after an encounter with a porcupine.
Self-Annihilating Description
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.
I've heard it said don't go to bed