Issue #4498
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt is returning home later today. It turns out her flight lands 4 hours sooner than we thought. I'm glad she will be home earlier, but I do wish I had made 4 hours less of a mess while she was gone!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Secret Of Life
A woman walking down a residential street, noticed a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She called out to him as she passed.
"Hello there! I couldn't help but notice how happy you look. What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he replied. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat nothing but fast food, and never exercise."
"Wow!" The woman was amazed. "How old are you?" she asked.
"Twenty-six," he replied.
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1424
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the World
In absolute monarchy, any leader can be a fool, but in absolute democracy, any fool can be a leader.
Today's Illustration
Passion For Life
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World.
The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said.
"I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with many dedicated and fully qualified attendants, who staff our ambulances and give freely of themselves. I was chatting with one of the EMS responders one day and she could hardly stifle a chuckle, so I asked her what was so funny and she told me this story...
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the World
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. As time went along, he became concerned about what might happen in an emergency.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the World
My mother began getting calls from people who misdialed the similar number of a new computer repair business.
Sunday Greetings everyone.
Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor.
Self-Annihilating Sentences: The Way of the World
Advice from the Ocean:
When my nephew Arthur was little, the local pastor dropped by my sister's house for a visit. My brother-in-law, an avid fisherman, was preparing for a weekend at the lake when suddenly little Arthur bellowed, "My daddy's got worms!''
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples:
He was cured posthumously.
Elevator music bothers me on so many different levels.
My friend Bev and her husband were reshingling their roof. As soon as they started, they realized they needed more supplies, so Bev grabbed the checkbook, jumped into her car, and drove the 45 miles to the nearest lumberyard.