Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and happy August everyone!
I was on the BubbleShooter game page this week and noticed that in order to play you now have to click to allow "flash" to be run. It's OK to allow cybersalt.org to run flash so you can play the game. Nothing has changed in the program.
www.cybersalt.org/games/bubble-shooter
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Long Living
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1399
I used to be conceited, but now I am perfect.
Today's Clean Pun
Rail Nap
"I shouldn't sleep on railroad tracks," said Tom, beside himself.
Today's Quote
Quote #1840
"Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it's fake."
- David "Avocado" Wolfe
Today's Illustration
Job Security
A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss' kind offer.
The boss asked, "Why would you turn down such a generous offer?"
The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons.
"Well, what are they?" asked the boss.
"The first," he said, "is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper's circulation."
The boss asked him what the other reason was.
"The other reason," replied the writer, "is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper's circulation."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
"So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband."
As long as I live, I will never forget what's-her-name.
"I keep banging my head on things," Tom said bashfully.
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Shirley and Abe, a retired couple from New York City, living in Miami Beach, are getting ready to go out to dinner.
It is no illusion that wide ties make the face look wider.
Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again!
My buddy applied for a job as an insurance salesman. Where the form requested "prior experience," he wrote "lifeguard." That was it. Nothing else.
* Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Every once in a while, it never stops raining.
People who do not use punctuation deserve a long sentence.
Sam and George go to the bank to cash their paychecks.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along.
He's a specialist in everything.
Scientists studying the effects of marijuana on seabirds have left no tern unstoned.
During a magazine and newspaper subscription drive, our son Philip, a paperboy, learned about good salesmanship.