Issue #4424    

 

   

---

               

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

We actually are getting some cold weather here at Cybersalt World Headquarters so we are trying to stay all snug and warm like today's chicken. I hope you are too!

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     

---

Today's CleanLaugh

Curve Hand

A guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark, stormy night. The night dragged on without a single car going by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he saw a car coming slowly toward him then stop.

Without thinking about it, the guy got into the back seat, closed the door and then realized there was nobody behind the wheel!

The car started slowly; the guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. He hadn't come out of shock when just before the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time right before a curve.

Gathering his strength, the guy finally jumped out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he went to a restaurant and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was serious.

About half an hour later, two guys walked in the same restaurant. They looked around for a table when one said to the other,

"Look, John! That's the guy who jumped in the back seat of the car when we were pushing it."

---

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1353

Descriptions:

The pirate skeletons at Disneyland are very life-like.

---

Today's Clean Pun

No Looking Back

I took my memories back to the dry cleaners to have them repressed. (One Hour Service)

---

Today's Quote

Quote #1795

"In the kingdom of God, as long as you're still fighting, you're winning. God doesn't hand out medals for performance. He hands out crowns for perseverance."

- Holley Gerth

---

Today's Illustration

Aging With Love

I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair right at the front, I pointed to my forehead.

"Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband.

"What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

---

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

  Issue #4423    

 

   

---

               

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone!

I'm happy to announce a new way you can help refugees and persecuted Christians through Cybersalt. Most of you are familiar with the Be a Billionaire fundraiser that helps support Christians who have fled persecution. You can now also help Christians living in persecution by purchasing items they have crafted directly from them.

Currently, there is only one item type available: an embroidered lady's handbag. These traditional bags are individually made from locally sourced cloth and tastefully embedded with mirrors by highly skilled and fascinatingly creative people who belong to poor, rural families. Right now each bag purchased will include an embroidered scarf and bracelet that goes with the colour you choose when ordering.
https://www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/pakistan-handicrafts

Rev. James Snyder recently enjoyed some vacation time recently. Along the way he encountered some very interesting drivers and vehicles. You can read "Now Do You Feel like a Big Boy?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/now-do-you-feel-like-a-big-boy

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

     

---

Today's CleanLaugh

Doll Play

Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course.

The classes used the well-known Resusci manikin victim to practice. Typical of most models, this Resusci manikin was only a torso, to allow for storage in a carrying case.

The class went off in groups to practice.

As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked, "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the manikin's mouth to listen for breathing.

Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed,

"He said he can't feel his legs!"

---

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1352

Definitions:

A reactionary is a man who wants to face the past with confidence.

---

Today's Clean Pun

Relationship With a Purpose

Managed to befriend a dolphin. We just clicked.

---

Today's Quote

Quote #1794

"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."

- William Ellery Channing

---

Today's Illustration

Human Nature

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people didn't trust this deal.

It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale - $50."

The next day someone stole it.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

---

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

---

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

A few weeks back I preached at the church Susan and I have been attending since I retired from local church pastoring. You can listen to "The Very Thing" at:
gatewaybaptistchurch.ca/media/172783-631731-1715277/the-very-thing 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

---

Today's CleanLaugh

Restaurant Return

An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.

Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."

"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the busy waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time."

---

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1351

Definitions:

A university is a community in which people make a living by taking in each other's brainwashing.

---

Today's Clean Pun

Irresistibly Loud

Yesterday I saw an ad that said,

Radio for sale
$1
Volume stuck on full

I thought, "I can't turn that down."

---

Today's Quote

Quote #1793

"Your wounds will either become walls of offense or windows of revelation depending on how you respond."

- Unknown

---

Today's Illustration

Nine Things About Aging

First, eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second, the older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third, some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth, when you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth, you know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh, one of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth, one must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Ninth, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

---

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

---

Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

This issue was actually created last week, but I forgot to schedule it to go out. 

So,enjoy the rest of last week's mailing today!

~ Pastor Tim

---

Today's CleanLaugh

Spelling Information

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."

---

Today's One Liner

One-liner #1348

Definitions

Monism is the theory that anything less than everything is nothing.

---

Today's Clean Pun

Final Word

A woman is sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands, clears his throat and says, "Plethora," and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says. "That means alot!"

---

Today's Quote

Quote #1790

"For Jesus, there are no countries to be conquered, no ideologies to be imposed, no people to be dominated. There are only children, women and men to be loved."

- Henri Nouwen

---

Today's Illustration

Judge Gently

Pray don’t find fault with the man who limps
Or stumbles along the road,
Unless you have worn the shoes that hurt,
Or struggled beneath his load.
There may be tacks in his shoes that hurt,
Though hidden away from view;
Or the burden he bears, placed on your back,
Might cause you to stumble, too.

Don’t sneer at the man who’s down today
Unless you have felt the blow
That caused his fall, or felt the same
That only the fallen know.
You may be strong, but still the blows
That were his, if dealt to you
In the self-same way at the self-same time,
Might cause you to stagger, too.

Don’t be too harsh with the man who sins
Or pelt him with words or stones,
Unless you are sure, yea, doubly sure,
That you have no sins of your own.
For you know perhaps, if the tempter's voice
Should whisper as soft to you
As it did to him when he went astray,
‘Twould cause you to falter, too.

- Author Unknown

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

---

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.