Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
I think technology and lack of sleep things have settled down here at Cybersalt World Headquarters. Today's mailing will hopefully go out and arrive according to its usual schedule - no pressure!
Speaking of pressure, Rev. James Snyder was recently on the hot seat after some ice cream went missing around the parsonage. You can read, "The Question of the Disappearing Ice Cream" at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/the-question-of-the-disappearing-ice-cream
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Crate of Chickens
The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open.
Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst.
"Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them."
"Well, you done a good job, son," the farmer beamed.
"You left with seven."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1364
Acupuncture is pointless.
Today's Clean Pun
Synthetic Diamond
An Irishman by the name of O'Mally proposed to his girl on St. Patrick's Day. He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweler. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass, on learning it wasn't real, returned to her future husband and protested vehemently about his cheapness.
"It was in honor of St. Patrick's Day," he smiled. "I gave you a sham rock."
Today's Quote
Quote #1806
"When my productivity was removed from my spirituality, I learned how beloved we are - apart from what we can do or accomplish for God."
- Sarah Bessey
Today's Illustration
Script Ungratefulness
A man writing at the post office desk was approached by an older fellow with a postcard in his hand.
The old man said, "Sir, I'm sorry to bother you but could you address this postcard for me? My arthritis is acting up and I can't even hold a pen."
"Certainly, sir," said the younger man. He wrote out the address and also agreed to write a short message and sign the card for the man.
Finally, the younger man asked, "Now, is there anything else I can do for you?"
The old fellow glanced at the card a moment and said, "Yes, at the end could you just add, 'PS: Please excuse the sloppy hand-writing.'?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Tom was very excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and he kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.
Grammar has gots to be one of the most importantest things ever?
I was going to show you my koi pond: now I’m not so sure.
My youngest son asked me how old I was.
I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers.
Rehab is for quitters!
If I had a Delorean, I would probably only drive it from time to time.
Recently, I showed a home to a couple who seemed eager to check out the fantastic view from the living room.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now, what should he do?
Profanity sucks.
Blindfolded archery: you don't know what you're missing!
Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving immunization shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her shot.
A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister if they could discuss his use of the car.
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
We maintain an excellent relationship with Holland because of the notwithstanding clogs.
My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.