Issue #4446
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Things continue to hum along here at Cybersalt World Headquarters - thanks for being a part it!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Fed Up
Long ago, on New York's lower east side, Mrs. Spinelli and Mrs. Goldberg were bragging as they stood with their friends about their respective abilities to overfeed dinner guests.
With evident pride, Mrs. Spinelli says, "When they walk home from my house, they're all doubled-over."
Without missing a beat, Mrs. Goldberg answers, "From your house, they can walk?"
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1374
The discerning eye is a pain in the neck!
Today's Clean Pun
Peasant Memo
Note to serfs:
Resistance is feudal!
Today's Quote
Quote #1816
"Stop trying to make everybody happy. You aren't chocolate."
- Toby Mac #SpeakLife
Today's Illustration
Green Perspective
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.
"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," wheezed a second.
"And somehow, the sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember 'em too," said the third.
Hearing just about enough from his buddies, the oldest and the wisest of the foursome (at 87-years-old) piped up and said,
"Oh my friends, just be thankful we're still on THIS side of the grass!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a non-renewable resource, is gradually diminishing.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving - I don't make the rules!
I don't know if Facebook has ever made the lame to walk.
Red is for the blood He gave.
For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions:
Self-Annihilating Sentences
Is collating still a thing?
Do you remember back in the day, when you'd go to a store and try to explain to a sales clerk which movie you were looking for?
A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter.
Self-Annihilating Sentence: Complaints
They said my writing was emotionally one dimensional; it hurt my feeling.
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What is prayer?"
Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys want a ride on my back"?
Self-Annihilating Sentence: Complaints
I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk,
Traveling through New England a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village.