Issue #4420
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
This week we read about Rev. James Snyder's willingness to embrace a second childhood. You can read "Why Childhood is Better the Second Time Around" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/why-childhood-is-better-the-second-time-around
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Watergate Bug
A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel.
The new bride is concerned and asked, "What if the place is still bugged?"
The groom says, "Hmm... Good point. I'll look for a bug."
He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug . . . "AHA!" he shouts!
Sure enough, under the rug was a small disc-shaped plate, with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the plate out the window.
The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds, "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?"
Curious, the groom says, "And why, sir, are you asking me all of these questions?"
The hotel manager says "Well, the room UNDER yours complained of the chandelier falling on them!"
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1349
Definitions:
That is that word which should be used instead of which.
Today's Clean Pun
Dating Apparel
Girlfriend: "What jersey should I buy?"
Boyfriend: "Buy a goalie's jersey!"
Girlfriend: "Why?"
Boyfriend: "So I can tell people my girlfriend is a keeper!"
Today's Quote
Quote #1791
"Churches are not museums that display perfect people. They are hospitals where the wounded, hurt, injured and broken find healing."
- Unknown
Today's Illustration
Faithfulness
The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him.
He drove around the neighborhood for some time with no luck.
Finally, he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.
"You mean the one following your car?" they asked.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her mother decided to give her the worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday.
Definitions
Crime Beat: Man who stole idol from museum apprehended.
There is a story told of a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I will marry you."'
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag.
Not knowing about Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' Horse.
Did you hear about the emperor penguin?
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's Mastercard. I'm sure you've all received their applications in the mail.
Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new checking account.
My New Year's resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my TV.
How do you defend yourself against zombie snowmen?
An elderly lady came to see a young male doctor with her husband. After the consultation was finished, the elderly man suddenly asked the doctor for a piece of paper and a pen. Although a strange request, he complied, and the man quickly wrote something, then handed the folded piece of paper to the doctor. He told him to read it as soon as they had left.
Oh look, the first Chicken Thursday of 2019 - Happy New Year!
Soon after our high-tech company moved into a new building, we had trouble with the elevators. A manager got stuck between floors and, after some door banging, finally attracted attention. His name was taken and rescue promised.
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
What's the biggest danger of building a snow dog rather than a snowman?
A man walked into a bakery, carrying a pie box. He approached the clerk at the counter.