Issue #3351
Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:
Cybersalt News
There isn't very much new on the Cybersalt Site today because I was working today on some background stuff instead.
I've made some major progress towards getting a complete, search-able, online system of every item that has appeared in the Cybersalt Digest (or other variations of it) since 1998. I'm really looking forward to having that done on the site as it's been one of the most requested features down through the years.
Enjoy the rest of today's digest.
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Proper Attire"
Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria."
Next to it, a student added, "Socks can eat wherever they want."
You can rate this joke at:
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Today's CleanPun - What's v
One of the basic equations of physics is e = hv, where v is the Greek letter 'nu' (pronounced new).
This can be written v = e/h.
If one physicist were to ask another, "What's new?" the other might answer, "e/h."
Today's One-liner
“The difference between God and a fighter pilot is that God doesn't think He's a fighter pilot.”
Today's CleanQuote
“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.”
Today's Illustration - "The Good Old Days"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days.
"Just act surprised and tell them you didn't think that they were old enough to remember them."
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/
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Issue # 3346
Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by:
Cybersalt News
Oh look, chicken Thursday! Yeah, I know it's Wednesday but if you knew how much I like that commercial you'd understand.
Speaking of days, do you remember what Sunday is? That's right, it's Mother's Day. Why not get a jump on getting her a really nice, sentimental, make mom feel like a million bucks recession friendly gift by sending her a Smilebox Mother's Day card
Here's what's new since the last Cybersalt Digest went out.
Sometimes church signs state the obvious and other times they miss it at the same time. You'll see what I mean at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/
If you like angry camels, jumping kittens, or motivational raps, you'll be glad to catch up on the the latest FunBlog additions at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/
Rev. James Snyder is noticing his wife's "honey do" list while "Keeping an Eye on the end of the Trail" at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/
And finally - I don't want you to think I'm desperate to be liked, but the fact remains that I like to be liked and its now easier to like Cybersalt by simply clicking on the Facebook icon below.
I hope you enjoy the rest of today's Cybersalt Digest!
Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Late at Walmart"
Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies. One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."
''Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Armed Forces.
What did they say if you came in late there?"
''They said, 'Good morning, General, can I get you coffee, sir?'''
You can rate this joke at:
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Today's CleanPun - April Showers
We all know that April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
Today's One-liner
"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it out."
Today's CleanQuote
"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." - Charles Caleb Colton
Today's Illustration - "Changing Times"
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies.
One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request form said, "State reason this item is needed," so I asked him why he wanted one.
I expected his answer would be "My old copy is lost" or "The cover is falling off." Instead he replied, "My edition defines spaceship as an 'imaginary aircraft.'"
He got his new dictionary.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/ Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by: Cybersalt News Hey look - it's me again. I haven't sent a mailing out in a month and half. Why? Well, if you've been watching the Cybersalt Site you may have read my wife's latest blog entry "Shackled in Debt" and if you have then you know that about 6 months ago we got busy clearing up some consumer debt we had gotten into. Since then I've been working like a dog in my spare time making web sites for people to make a dent in the debt. It's going very well, but one of the consequences has been very erratic e-mailing out of the Cybersalt Digest. Anyway, I've got new system in mind for getting the Digest out in a more efficient way and hopefully things should get back to a more regular frequency. In the meantime, here are a few new things in the Cybersalt Site you may not have noticed in the last month or so. There have been 3 new blog posts in my wife's Simply Susan blog: There have a been a number of new additions (card throwing, laughing campers, a singing Russian, an amazing dog, colliding smoke rings, and artificial suns) in the FunBlog: Oh yeah, there is a new letter in the Hall of FLames. It turns out somebody has been thinking of me! Finally, for those of you who listen to my sermons online the 6 most recent ones have been uploaded to the Westside Bible Church web site. There are 3 from my ongoing series from Ecclesiastes, 2 from Easter, and 1 about Christians and astrology. Well that was a mouthful! I hope you enjoy the rest of today's Cybersalt Digest. Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Scared vs. Apprehension" As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school. He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, lieutenant?" I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference?" He replied, "That means I'm scared, but with a university education." You can rate this joke at: "What kind of music do you sing?" "Aqua-pella." Today's One-liner "I feel sorry for the guy who has to play the world's smallest violin - everybody just thinks he's being sarcastic." Today's CleanQuote "Scissors are overpowered. Rock is fine." - Paper The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/ Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by: Cybersalt News Hey everyone! Here's some of what's new on the Cybersalt Site today. My wife has a new entry in her "Simply Susan" blog. You can read "Are You Skeptical" at: I tried to add a new video to the FunBlog today, but this one they want you to watch right from the site so I only have the link to it. It's video of a shark biting a guy. How is that funny you ask? The answer is at: While we are talking about sharks and links, here is another off-site link you may enjoy. Who'd of thought you could see the sharks so well from space: The sharks from space link is actually one I sent out on Twitter and Facebook. You don't have to wait for me to get around to putting a mailing together to know when new things are on the Cybersalt Site. Just use the links below to add Cybersalt to your Twitter or Facebook. Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Curfew" This young man was elated when he turned eighteen in a state where curfew is 11:00 p.m. for anyone under seventeen years of age. He told his Dad how happy he was that now he could stay out until 3:00 a.m. if he wanted. "Yes you can stay out as late as you want, but the car is under seventeen and it has to be in the garage by eleven." His father said. You can rate this joke at: Today's CleanQuote "Resurrection life is certainly not a grave situation. Try it sometime." Today's Illustration - "Honesty" Serving as a Marine recruiter in western North Carolina, I found a young man who met all the requirements and was ready to enlist. I explained the importance of being truthful on the application, and he began filling out his paper work. But when he got to the question "Do you own any foreign property or have any foreign financial interests?" he looked up at me with a worried expression. "Well," he confessed, "I do own a Toyota." We enlisted him the next day. The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/ Today's Cybersalt Digest is brought to you by: Cybersalt News I hope you all had a great weekend. I also hope I never see a prancing Mountie for the rest of my life - unless of course they are prancing to my rescue. There's a new picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You can view "Mad Cat" at: Here is today's CleanLaugh - "Bagel Shop Student" "Hello Mrs. Frobisher" said the bearded guy behind the counter at the bagel shop. My husband and I looked at him but drew complete blanks. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?" I asked. "Yeah, you was my English teacher." Leaning over, my husband whispered, "Good job, Honey, good job." You can rate this joke at: "On cooking shows, there is little margerine of error." Today's One-liner "Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR" - what's my mother going to do. The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt Pastor Tim pastors at Westside Bible Church, Victoria, British Columbia http://www.westsidefamily.org
Please vote for the CleanLaugh List and Site at http://www.cybersalt.net/
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Issue # 3345
"A Shadow" - https://www.cybersalt.org/
"Blessing Mom" - https://www.cybersalt.org/
"Shackled in Debt" - https://www.cybersalt.org/
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http://www.westsidefamily.org/
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Today's CleanPun - Singing Type
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Issue # 3344
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Sharks From Space
https://www.cybersalt.org/
Featured Illustration items are well suited for introducing or illuminating a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
https://www.cybersalt.org/
Issue # 3343
https://www.cybersalt.org/
https://www.cybersalt.org/
Today's CleanPun - "Cooking Shows"
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