Monthly Archive

2007

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 791 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Sermon Interpretation
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5755
<1min

Sermon Interpretation

One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.  Her daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilts."  Needless to say... read more..
Funeral Weather
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3367
<1min

Funeral Weather

As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to fussing at her poor husband. When the graveside service had no more than... read more..
Spiritual Gifts and Classes
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3852
<1min

Spiritual Gifts and Classes

A spiritual gift is a divinely given ability to perform the role God has placed us in the church to do.  Does having a certain gift make one better than someone with a different gift?  Are read more..
Translated Golf
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5196
<1min

Translated Golf

An American was golfing at the Old Course in St.  Andrews, Scotland.  He slices his opening drive out of bounds onto the beach, so he tees another one up and smacks it right down the middl read more..
Good Morning 05-06
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2664
3 min read

Good Morning 05-06

FIFTH SUNDAY OF EASTER   Acts 13:44-52 Rev. 21:1-5 John 13:31-35* Psalm 148   Of all the holidays we celebrate, Valentine's Day is most likely to inspire thought of love, but t read more..
Hunting Pairs
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3142
<1min

Hunting Pairs

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Joey?" the others as... read more..
Good Morning 05-05
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2600
2 min read

Good Morning 05-05

"You are the salt of the earth." - Matthew 5:13   Many of you might ask yourself: "How far may I go in my opinions, enjoyments and habits of the world without making a shipwr read more..
Turtle Ears
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5840
<1min

Turtle Ears

Tradition here in the office is to keep a notepad with the punch lines from the various jokes that pass through.  I was flipping pages and found "Turtles have such tiny ears!" read more..
Photo Apology
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3150
<1min

Photo Apology

Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman complained that Van Bergen's photo wasn't nearly as good as the first one she had taken."You must forgive me." the ph... read more..
Another Mother's Day Card Quandary
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3784
5 min read

Another Mother's Day Card Quandary

Another year has gone by and I find myself facing the same quandary I faced last year. I was hoping somehow this year would be different but, alas, it is not. Many people complain about how fast thing... read more..
That's Just Life
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4788
4 min read

That's Just Life

As I waited in the line-up at the post office the other day I overheard a conversation that is quite common for this area of the world.  One person asked after the other and the response was, & read more..
Good Morning 05-04
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2447
2 min read

Good Morning 05-04

"Then the Spirit said unto Philip: Go near, and join thyself to this chariot." - Acts 8:29   We all know that God moves in mysterious ways. Which Apostle would have imagined that read more..
Hurry and Sign Up
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5352
2 min read

Hurry and Sign Up

Dear Ma and Pa: I am well.  Hope you are.  Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for Old Man Minch a mile.  Tell them to join up quick before maybe all the read more..
Good Morning 05-03
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2965
2 min read

Good Morning 05-03

"From a child thou has known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." -2 Timothy 3:14-16   The writer of this read more..
Utensil Rejection
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6227
<1min

Utensil Rejection

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.  When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.&nb read more..
Good Morning 05-02
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2723
2 min read

Good Morning 05-02

"When I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a Light unto me." - Micah 7:8   It is estimated that there are over twelve million blind people in the world. We are grateful for the pr read more..
Mechanic Rate
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6224
<1min

Mechanic Rate

A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is ridiculous!" she said, "charging me five hundred dollars to grind the valves and put in new piston rings... read more..
Springing...
Misc
2715
3 min read

Springing...

April was interesting..storms and "bugs" that made us sick.. Praise God we are all better now..(I hope.) I have been trying to decide if it is time to take down the sheltering screens for the Bunnys... read more..
TGV
FunBlog
Pastor Tim
2571
<1min

TGV

I don't speak French very well, but my guess is these people are excited about how fast this train is going.  It goes to prove that language is no barrier for railfans, speed aficionados, o read more..
Good Morning 05-01
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2462
2 min read

Good Morning 05-01

"Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal and every mouth which has not kissed him." - 1 Kings 19:18   The prophet Elijah was a lo read more..
Computer T-Shirt Slogans
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6377
2 min read

Computer T-Shirt Slogans

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) Buy ... read more..
Haircut
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4655
<1min

Haircut

Boss: You got your hair cut on company time.Susie: It grew on company time.Boss: Not all that hair.Susie: I didn't get it all cut.... read more..
Good Morning 04-30
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2793
2 min read

Good Morning 04-30

"Behold upon the mountains the feet of him that bringeth good things, that published peace. O Judah, keep thy solemn feasts, perform thy vows." - Nahum 1:15   A mighty army is en read more..
Happy Anniversary
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5811
<1min

Happy Anniversary

The other day while driving home, after beng delayed at my office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror. The police officer pulled me over for speeding.  I explained to him tha... read more..
Don't Buy or Sell Jesus Insurance
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3892
<1min

Don't Buy or Sell Jesus Insurance

Jesus is more than an insurance policy for the soul or a product to inflate the church's grwoth statistics. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20070429.mp3{/audio} read more..
King of The Jungle
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
21107
<1min

King of The Jungle

The lion was proud of his mastery of the animal kingdom.  One day he decided to make sure all the other animals knew he was king of the jungle.  He was so confident that he bypassed the smal... read more..
Good Morning 04-29
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2435
3 min read

Good Morning 04-29

FOURTH SUNDAY AFTER EASTER   Acts 9:1-22 Rev. 5:11-14 John 21:1-19* Psalm 30:4-12   I know I reversed last Sunday with this Sundays text, looked at the wrong line. This chapter of read more..
Speeding Registration
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3483
<1min

Speeding Registration

On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rear- view mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit. I handed the officer ... read more..
Good Morning 04-28
Shirley Choat
Shirley Choat
2973
2 min read

Good Morning 04-28

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." - James 1:17   In sprin read more..
Golf Meditations
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5689
2 min read

Golf Meditations

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought... read more..
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