Monthly Archive

2006

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1004 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4429

Pull Over

"Hey you!  Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop.The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars.She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examin read more..

Sermons
Pastor Tim
3050

God and Your Feelings

Peter Scazzero writes in his book The Emotionally Healthy Church that the area of emotions is a too long overlooked area when it comes to discipling followers of Jesus.  He emphasi... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4524

Queen Size

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased.  He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Q... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3206

A Hi-Tech Litmus Test

This morning, on the church newsletter were these instructions:Hold this paper close to your nose and blow hard into the paper.If the sheet turns green, you need to see a doctor.If it turns blue, see ... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3889

Beware The Ides Of April ? The Tax Man Cometh

This year curiously enough, Easter and Income Tax Day came the same weekend. One represents a cross borne for our sins and the other represents a cross we continue to bear for someone else’s sin... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
8774

Ungrateful Son-In-Law

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law.  "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man.  "To show you how much we care... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3177

Away Messages

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in y... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4143

Call To Mom

A man called his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2677

The Batchelor

I realized that my six-year-old grandson had been watching too many reality TV shows the day we attended a cousin's wedding.As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the synago... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
4643

Into Your Hands

The last words we hear Jesus speak from the cross are "It is finished. Into your hands I commit my spirit." And he gave up his spirit and died.Jesus had been able to say that the work God ha... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3814

School Daze

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift.  She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I kno... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3057

Funeral Music

At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would like to enter the service to.One family asked to enter to, "Love me Tender."Well the day of the funeral arrived ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4020

Getting Ready

It seems the word anticipation is an appropriate one for this time of year. The snow is melting rapidly and the bushes are showing that faint red tint that tells us life is pouring back into them afte... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6310

Remember The Elderly

The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady wrote.... Dear Pastor, Don't ever forget about us old folks.  We are worth a fortune.  We have Silver in... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3111

Patio Problem

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.He stacked the blocks agains... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3913

What Mom Really Wants

Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10.  To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone) and drink a soda without any "floaties" (ie, backwash) 9.  To have my 14 year-old da... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2612

Interpreting Hotel Brochures

Old world charm ............. No bathTropical .................... RainyMajestic setting ............ A long way from townOptions galore .............. Nothing is included in the itinerarySecluded hid... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3751

Golfing Seniors

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, J read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4264

The Difference Between Men and Women

This is a Dave Barry item.  Do not use in your book.**********  Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha.  He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pr... read more..

Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
7641

Top Step To Hell

In response to this item on the PearlyGates list: If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,"DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. T... read more..

Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
7478

I Hate Jesus

Brenden wrote: "Look man I hate Jesus Christ. He is a f***ing g*y b***ard and I never liked him so send me no more emails about the b***ard." Pastor Tim replied: "Really? When did you meet him and ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
3836

Abridged Version

I just showed a video to my grade four class called The Easter Story. It was a cartoon version, abridged and modified for a young audience. I almost showed them a clip from the Jesus video which is mu... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4009

What Am I?

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, an... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2452

Expecting

"How does Jamie like being pregnant?" Danny asked his friend Ryan."Oh, she's not pregnant," Ryan replied, "she's expecting.""What's the difference?" Danny pressed."Well, Ryan explained, "She's expecti read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
4491

T.G.I.F. (Easter version)

"T.G.I.F.," under normal circumstances, means "Thank God, it's Friday!" - we smile, relax and look forward to a much-needed weekend break. Well, today is Friday, but it is no & read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4135

Dough Boy Drive By

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (really from the Associated Press) Linda Burnett, 23, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.Several people notic... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3858

It Was Lights Out At The Old Ballgame

Someone yelling, "Let’s play ball," officially announces spring. Springtime and baseball seem to go together, as if God created springtime just for the national pastime.Something about... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
9249

Jonah Test

A little girl was observed by her pastor standing outside the pre-school Sunday School classroom between Sunday School and worship, waiting for her parents to come and pick her up for "big church." Th... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4884

Q & A

Q. Why did Freud cross the road?A. Hmm, and when did you first notice this interest in roads?... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
5178

What in the world was Jesus thinking about!?

The next day the great crowd that had come for the Feast heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting, “Hosanna!  Blessed is he w... read more..