Issue #4533
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I am often embarrassed by some of the stuff that is put out there in the name of Jesus and His church. Not so with this wonderful video:
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Seen in the Cafeteria
At work, my dad noticed that the name of an employee was the same as an old friend. He found the man's e-mail address and sent him a message.
When Dad received a reply, he was insulted and fired back another e-mail: "I've put on some weight, but is it so noticeable that you mention it first?"
His friend's hastily typed message, with an apparent typo, had read:
"Hi, Ron. I didn't know you worked here, but I did see a gut that looked like you in the cafeteria."
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1460
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted paychecks!
Today's Clean Pun
Legume Passing
RIP Mr. Peanut, you'll have an open casket - it will be ajar.
Today's Quote
Quote #1898
"If we close our minds to church history, we say in effect that the story of what GOD has done since that time means nothing to us."
- J. Philip Arthur
Today's Illustration
Prayer, Faith
A tale is told about a small town that had historically been "dry," but then a local businessman decided to build a tavern.
A group of Christians from a local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask God to intervene. It just so happened that shortly thereafter lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The owner of the bar sued the church, claiming that the prayers of the congregation were responsible, but the church hired a lawyer to argue in court that they were certainly not responsible.
The presiding judge, a man wiser than most, after his initial review of the case, stated that "no matter how this case comes out, one thing is obvious." When asked what that was, the judge said "that it is evident that the tavern owner believes in prayer and the Christians do not."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.
Now that we have everyone washing their hands correctly, next week: turn signals!!!
Thanks for teaching me the meaning of plethora. It means alot!
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
You! Off my planet!
My wife thinks I over-analyse our marriage, which, to be frank completely contradicts the findings of my report.
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items.
BOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic "Yuck" before a food is even tasted.
Whisper my favorite words, "I'll buy it for you."
I went shopping for cherries and a microphone.
I work for a radio and television station owned by a Catholic university. We were quite surprised to get a complaint about our traffic reporter being "anti-Catholic."
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and for pets owned by senior citizens who have not been altered the fee will be $1.50."
Meandering to a different drummer.
There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.