Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Remember when I said there was some exciting news cooking here at Cybersalt World Headquarters? That news involved and involves travel that has been extended, so you have to wait just a little bit longer to hear it!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Pearl Dream
After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary. What do you think it means?"
"You'll know tonight." he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled, "The Meaning of Dreams."
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1445
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
Today's Clean Pun
Chemical Assistance Denied
I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite.
He said, "NaBrO."
Today's Quote
Quote #1883
"It is the experiences of being overwhelmed, nearly destroyed, and surprisingly given life that cause us to pray and sing."
- Walter Brueggemann
Today's Illustration
Fasting, Ministry Salaries
A new member of a church is talking to the Pastor: "You have such a small congregation. How can they afford to pay you?"
The Pastor said, "Well, I only earn $60 a week."
The man is dumbfounded. "Pastor, how can you possibly get by on an amount that small?"
"Well I tell ya, if I wasn't such a religious man and didn't fast three days a week, I'd probably starve to death."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Sunday Greetings everyone.
On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver.
Therapy is expensive; poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
I don't mean to harp about this, but I'm about to make a musical instrument pun; so plan accordionly.
When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?"
Here's hoping there is no one like this at your workplace.
Well, this day was a total waste of make-up!
Hip replacement? More like a pelvis impersonator!
Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.
Sunday Greetings everyone - and Happy New Year! I hope it's a great year for you full of many blessings.
On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer.
Marriage Tip:
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the crowd. "Jones, never do that again!" the drill instructor whispered.
Sunday Greetings everyone!
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked.
Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.
Next week we have a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle in the church's soon to be put away nativity scene when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.