Issue #4544
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Thanks to Benny and Cindy T for today's chicken picture. Just look at those saucy hens turning their egg makers toward them!
Wash your hands, keep safe and enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Mrs. Pierpoint
A woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. She hasn't heard anything from her for a few days.
So she tells her son, "I want you to go next door and see how ol' Mrs. Pierpoint is."
A few minutes later, the boy returns.
"Well, is she all right?" the mother asks.
"She's fine, but she's annoyed with you," he says.
"At me? Whatever for?"
"Well," says her son, "Mrs. Pierpoint told me it's none of your business how old she is."
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1470
Errors have been made; others will be blamed.
Today's Clean Pun
Plant Profession
A job at the nursery can lead to a budding career.
Today's Quote
Quote #1908
"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."
- Voltaire
Today's Illustration
Blind Perspective
Who's limited?
Once again I get a poem,
About some miserable person,
Whining about his life,
And he meets a bunch of "poor disabled people..."
- people who have 'less' than he does.
- people who can't have the life he has.
- people who make him feel fortunate, better off,
And the poem ends with him
Wrapped up in his thankfulness for what he has that I "don't."
True, I cannot see the sun rise,
I cannot see the stars at night,
But my life is not pathetic...
- it's not pitiful.
- it's not limited.
Well, not in the way many perceive it.
I live a full life.
I work, I dream,
I live, I feel.
I go about my day much as you,
productive and free.
Most of my limitations,
come from you,
your inability to stop and really think.
You get hung up on what I do,
and leave me trapped here,
hurting, aching,
Trying to break free.
I'm tired of dreaming for you.
I'm tired of coming up with all the answers.
I'm tired of having my wings clipped,
Trapped by your lack of ideas,
About what my life is and can be like.
Now, I curse my life,
I curse the freedom I was taught as a child,
I wish I was as limited as you think I am.
I wish I could forget
because it's just too much to take
living with these constant contradictions
between the life I know I have
and the life I cannot have.
Instead of pitying me,
and feeling so good about what you "have,"
why don't you stop, and think, and dream
and set me free?
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Top Ten Signs You Are In For A Long Sermon
In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Did you hear about the scientists who were nominated for the Nobel Prize?
Fred was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,
A gorilla walked into a drugstore and ordered a $1.50 chocolate sundae. He put a ten-dollar bill on the counter to pay for it.
Self-Annihilating Complaint
What do you call a very interesting movie made by a con-artist?
After an hour of "Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white," the paint store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
A guy goes into a second hand shop to buy one for his watch.
The two snooty women were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed in another room.
One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Maury and his wife showed up to a very popular restaurant, but it was very crowded. Mrs. Maury went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?"
My six-year-old granddaughter, Caitlynd, and I stopped at a Tim Horton's donut shop for a blueberry muffin. As we were going out the door, a young teenage boy was coming in.