Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
I try to keep my mailings family friendly, but today I am including this picture of some young chicks that Kathie M. sent!
Wash your hands, keep safe and enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Career Cooling
A long time ago, I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified to fall into a new area outside of the IT staff.
One day, my new supervisor entered the room and stared at the air conditioning unit directly behind me. He studied the two flashing lights for a few moments and asked what job it was currently processing.
I killed my career by replying, "Actually, sir, it's cooling the room. The computer is over there."
Today's One Liner
One-Liner #1480
I've lost my mind, and I'm pretty sure the kids took it.
Today's Clean Pun
Wall-to-Wall Flower
The first five florists I called from the phone book knew nothing about carpet or tile. And suddenly, I'm the idiot!
Today's Quote
Quote #1918
"A strong marriage requires two people who choose to love each other even on days when they struggle to like each other."
- Dave Willis
Today's Illustration
Work Ethics
An assembly line worker at Chrysler was picked for jury duty, but asked the judge to excuse him. "This is a very busy time at the plant, Your Honor, and I need to be there."
"Oh, I see," the judge said. "You're one of those folks who think you're indispensable, that Chrysler can't get along without you."
"No, sir, not at all," the worker replied. "I know they can do just fine without me, but I don't want them to find that out."
"Excused," the judge said.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
“I spent a lot of cash in France," Tom said frankly. "And also in Germany," he added markedly.
I had always prided myself on being an "on time" person. One morning I overslept and rushed around getting ready for Sunday school. As I ran out the door, my husband tried to say something.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed!
“If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?“
There are two rules for success in life:
2020: I’m going to ask my Mom if that offer to slap me into next year is still on the table.
Everyone is posting memes and talking about coming out of this quarantine with a new skill or side hustle; I’m just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there’s a turd in Saturday.
Freud had a bicycle as a child, and he often took it apart, as he was very interested in what made it work.
A few years ago, there was a news story on the radio about a Jewish synagogue that had a problem with the Baptists down the street. Some Jews were unable to find a space in their own parking lot because members of the nearby Baptist church, which met earlier in the morning for revival meetings, got there first.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, South Carolina, was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them,
If everything goes perfectly, something's wrong.
A farmer called his pig Ball Point.
When I worked for the security department of a large retail store, my duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms. A side door of the building was wired with a security alarm, because it was not supposed to be used by customers.