Cybersalt News
Sunday Greetings everyone!
Yes, last Chicken Thursday I shared the wrong link for the new "No Overnight Parking" funny picture - another error between my keyboard and my seat. Thanks for catching that Walter! The proper link is:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/no-overnight-parking
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Passing Pain
An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awaken from a good night's sleep.
He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not?" he asks.
She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
Her husband is confused. "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
The wife is adamant, "No, I'm definitely dead."
Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
His wife is certain. "I know I'm dead, because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts!"
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1450
Adults are just kids who owe money.
Today's Clean Pun
Ears First
I won a chocolate bunny at the fair. It was a hollow victory.
Today's Quote
Quote #1888
"Be careful when you blindly follow the Masses ... sometimes the 'M' is silent."
- unknown
Today's Illustration
Bullying
A young fellow by the name of Sammy liked to hang out at Mom and Pop's Grocery Store. Pop didn't know what Sammy's problem was, but the other boys would tease him all the time, calling him Slow Sammy, and punching him on the shoulder as they passed.
To mock him for being slow, they would offer him a dime and a nickel, telling him he could have just one. They said he always took the nickel because it was bigger.
One day after Sammy took the nickel, Pop pulled him to one side and said, "Son, don't you know they're making fun of you? They think you don't know that the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you really grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"
"No," Sammy said, "but if I took the dime they'd quit doing it!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday - thanks again to Kathy M. for another chicken picture! Send yours to 
Manny was getting older. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.
I pretend to work; they pretend to pay me.
Engagement ring: aka a Kneel Diamond.
The clerk in a shoe store was trying hard to persuade his customer that a pair of uncomfortable shoes fit her.
Sunday Greetings everyone!
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left!
Cowboy: Could you help me round up my eighteen cows?
The Lord and I are in a shepherd-sheep relationship, and I am in a position of negative need.
Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
Believe me, I am not a racist. At my age I can't even walk fast.
A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:
A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa got out. The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.
Ambivialent? Well, yes and no.
As a Superhero I would be "Typoman" ... the writer of wrongs!
In World War II my father-in-law was stationed at the Army Air Corps base in Prestwick, Scotland.