Issue #4463    

 

   

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone and happy beginning of summer to everyone in the northern hemisphere. Don't worry, southerners, the sun is on its way back!

Rev. James Snyder likes to keep things simple - which complicates his marriage sometimes. You can read more about that in "Whatever Happened to the Simple Things in Life?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/whatever-happened-to-the-simple-things-in-life

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     

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Today's CleanLaugh

Jogging Time

A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.

As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"

The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15".

The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"8:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"

Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!."

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Today's One Liner

One-liner #1389

"Essentially" is essentially meaningless.

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Today's Clean Pun

Boat Classification

Pirate Ship: assailing vessel.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1830

Jesus didn't say, "Follow Christians." He said, "Follow me."

- unknown

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Today's Illustration

Child's Prayer

A good friend was waiting nearby while his young son prayed silently before going to bed. Suddenly the boy burst out laughing.

"Reggie!" scolded his father, "Why are you laughing during prayer?"

"But Dad," the boy answered, "you told me that prayer is talking to God like a friend, and I just told him a joke."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

Today, June 20th, is World Refugee Day.

As many of you know, Grandma Cybersalt and I are now working with refugees and persecuted Christians. One of the ways we are trying to help is to send financial support to those who have fled to countries where they are not allowed to work but must still survive. They face the threat of being arrested and returned to be killed if they do work.

Cybersalt's Be a Billionaire Fundraiser has been helping some of these to pay their rent and buy some food while they search for a durable solution - which means resettlement to a country where they can resume everyday life. Thank you to all who have already become "billionaires" or have simply made a donation and helped us stand with these brothers and sisters who refused to deny Christ even in the face of death.

Even if you are unable to help financially, don't forget that you can be an encouragement through the Body of Christ Connection:
www.cybersalt.org/body-of-christ-connection

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

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Today's CleanLaugh

Division of Labor

The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation.

"It's simple," he said. "Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on."

"And you?"

"I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for a manned expedition to Mars, and so on."

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1387

I'm just itching to tell you about my allergies.

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Today's Clean Pun

Bachelor Mario

I dated someone who broke up with me for talking too much about video games.

What a silly reason to Fallout 4.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1828

"The child of God must be completely obedient to the word of the LORD. The driver on the highway is safe, not when he reads the signs, but when he obeys them."

- A.W. Tozer

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Today's Illustration

Professional Change

My husband works in a former supermarket that was remodeled to accommodate professional offices. One day he overheard his receptionist giving directions over the phone.

"Remember the old grocery store?" she asked the caller. "Well, you'll find us in the meat department."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

  Issue #4460    

 

   

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Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone - and happy Father's Day for all those who are able to celebrate.

Rev. James Snyder tries to stir up and give people a merry heart wherever he goes. You can read more about that in "One Man’s Joke Is Another Man’s Discount" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/one-man-s-joke-is-another-man-s-discount

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

     

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Today's CleanLaugh

Perfect Spouse

A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"

The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"

"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman:

 "Buy a television."

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Today's One Liner

One-liner #1386

I'm not indecisive ... unless you want me to be.

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Today's Clean Pun

Menagerie Report

Went to the zoo.There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1827

The greatest gift I ever had came from God. I call him "Dad."

- Unknown

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Today's Illustration

ER Reality

My mom, a nurse, was having an insane evening in the emergency room. First, a woman who had delivered her baby in a car was rushed in. Next was a man carrying a lifeless body yelling, "Help me!" In the middle of all this, a patient escaped from the psychiatric ward, tore off her clothes, and went running through the halls naked.

During a lull, Mom called home. "You wouldn't believe the night I'm having," she said to my dad.

"Can't talk now," he interrupted. "I'm watching ER."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.

     

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - and happy 79th birthday to my mom!!

I recently returned from 10 days of travelling for two conferences and some family visits. One of the places I flew to was Edmonton, Alberta, a city heavily impacted that day by smoke from wildfires in that province. I took this picture (no filter applied) as we descended to land. Let me tell you, it didn't smell very good in the plane!

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

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Today's CleanLaugh

No Stairs

An older lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast.

"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.

"Yes you can," he replied.

"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm so tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"

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Today's One Liner

One-Liner #1385

I'm never at my best.

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Today's Clean Pun

Three Mile Buddy

My friend keeps telling me about his nightmares about being a used up nuclear fuel rod:

I think he's overreacting.

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Today's Quote

Quote #1826

 

Two things are said to be rare sights in the world;
one is a young man humble, and the other is an old man content.

- J. C. Ryle

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Today's Illustration

Enthusiasm

I was the new coach of a Little League baseball team and had not yet learned the names of my players.

At our first game, I called each boy by the number on his uniform. When I yelled, "Number 5, your time to bat," Jeffrey came to the plate. When I called for "Number 7," Tyler jumped up. Then I yelled for "Number 1" but no one emerged from the dugout. Again I called for Number 1. Still, no one came forward.

As the umpire looked on, annoyed at this delay of the game, I shouted; "Who's number 1?"

That's when the whole team yelled, "We are, Coach! We are!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.