Issue #4390
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
F1 - Help
My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon when he noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen.
After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.
Finally, he approached her and asked if she needed help.
She replied, "It's about time! I pressed the F1 key over twenty minutes ago!"
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1319
The solution makes the problem more difficult.
Today's Clean Pun
Drape Alternative
So grateful somebody invented window blinds or it would be curtains for all of us!
Today's Quote
Quote #1760
"Spin cheerfully, not tearfully; He knows the way you plod. Spin carefully, spin prayerfully; but leave the thread to God."
- Unknown
Today's Illustration
Curiosity Bang
There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child.
One person told the boy that he would if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar.
A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked.
Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?"
No more problem.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a faraway land trying to find adventure.
Anyone who reads this is illiterate!
A psychologist is meeting with a new patient that just happens to be a musical instrument.
A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup.
I am certain of it, but I may be wrong.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
One morning the phone rang at 3:00 a.m. at Jeff's house. He picked up the phone and a woman asked, "Is this 555-1111?"
The eight-year old boy had never spoken a word-ever.
He's a unique type.
Will glass coffins be a success?
*Grandpa's Pearls of Wisdom*
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
What do we want?
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning - or possibly just a very hairy guy; either way, the silver bullets worked.
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, "Wait! I'm a talking tree!"
Life is a Theater...Invite Your Audience Carefully