Issue #4395
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone!
My apologies that there have been no Mailings for the past two weeks. Earlier this month we lost a family friend and we took some time and made some space apart from some of our regular activities. Also, Grandma Cybersalt is now away in the middle of a 2 week business/family visit trip which means I have been spending much more time foraging for berries and grubs in the forest.
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Number Eighteen
A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for "lights out" and the cell-block becomes dark nearly silent.
Eventually, a voice from across the cell-block cries out "twenty-two!" and everyone breaks out into loud and prolonged laughter. A little while later another voice calls out "forty-one!" and again the entire cell-block enjoys a hearty laugh.
The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what this is all about. The cellmate replies that they have been in prison so long that rather than tell the same jokes over and over, they have assigned numbers to them as a more efficient way to tell jokes. The new prisoner asks if he could give it a try. His cellmate says "Sure, why not tell number eighteen!"
No response whatsoever.....not even a snicker! The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what went wrong.
The cellmate replies, "Some people just don't know how to tell a joke!"
Today's One Liner
One-liner #1328
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFERS from diarrhea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
Today's Clean Pun
Bakery Ban
Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns.
I replied, "You mean just like the ones grammar use to make?"
Now I'm blocked.
Today's Quote
Quote #1769
"A writer who says that there are no truths, or that all truth is 'merely relative,' is asking you not to believe him. So don't."
- Roger Scruton, Modern Philosophy: An Introduction and Survey
Today's Illustration
Honesty of a Child
"Peter!" his mother scolded, "There were two cookies in the pantry this morning but now there's only one! Do you have an explanation?"
Peter replied, "It must have been too dark and I didn't see the other one."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Two goobers, Bob and Joe, decided to rob a bank and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each.
The human brain is amazing; it functions 24/7 from the day we're born and only stops when you're taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.
If a bearded man makes vases is he a hairy potter?
A teenage girl had just been given family-car privileges. One Friday night she returned home very late from a party.
Sunday greetings everyone!
It was decided at Microsoft, during a brilliant brainstorming session, that military service would improve the skills and discipline of their finest technician. So off to boot camp he went.
Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is called John.
Big shout out to my fingers!
Serving as a Marine recruiter in western North Carolina, I found a young man who met all the requirements and was ready to enlist. I explained the importance of being truthful in the application, and he began filling out his paperwork.
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
If the car ad claims these items, it really means:
I didn't hear that!
Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says,
The two teenagers were arrested for disorderly conduct. The police sergeant told them they were entitled to a phone call. Sometime later a man entered the station and asked for them by name.
(Don't judge a joke by its title.)
She ran the gamut of emotions - from A to B.
My sister didn't believe that I could build a car out of spaghetti.
On the Upper West Side lived a man who was a very militant atheist but he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its Christian roots, it was a great school. After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, "By the way Dad, do you know what Trinity means? It means the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost."