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In Today's Issue
     ÂCybersalt News
Thank you to everyone who has sent in suggestions to name the different web hosting packages being set up to offer through Cybersalt - especially the zany ones that made me laugh. Hopefully I'll get a sign to know which one to chose!
Speaking of signs, there is a new Funny Sign Picture on the Cybersalt site today. You'll find "Tanks and Pools" at:
www.cybersalt.org/ady3
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
   ÂToday's CleanLaugh
Pepper Advice
When chopping a hot pepper...
1. Do NOT rub your nose...
and if you do and it starts to burn...
2. DON'T put you finger in your nostril to rub it...
AND IF YOU DO THEN BY ALL MEANS ...
3. DO NOT..."SNORT" WATER UP YOUR NOSE IN AN ATTEMPT TO RINSE THE JUICE
OUT.
Please don't ask me how I know...just *trust me*
Today's One-liner
One-liner #0962
The five-second rule for food dropped on the ground doesn't work if you have a two-second dog.
Today's Clean Pun
Sore Back
He had a sore back: that's why he was acting so disc hurteous.
Today's Quote
Quote #1410
"Now is the time for us to stop seeking our own satisfaction and to pour out our lives before HIM."
- Oswald Chambers
Today's Illustration
Trust
As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.
Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?"
The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
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The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she'd have children if she had to do over again.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does: that's why I think of jogging everyday.
This bald spot just appeared out of thin hair.
"I find there are three stages in every great work of God: first it's impossible, then it's difficult, then it's done."
On Friday I had mentioned that my keys, all of them (car, apartment and church keys) had gone missing. There were 2 electronic key fobs, and keys that would not have been easy to replace that promised me no end of irritation and expense.
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital.
Here, let me show you how to micromanage.
If we got rid of all the margarine, the world would be a butter place.
"However you choose to pray for your children, just know that when you do this, it is a sweet fragrance to the Lord."
Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He said, "The trouble with the world today is that some people have too much and others have too little. We must give of ourselves and our worldly goods to help the less fortunate."
The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated:
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I hate it when I think that I'm buying "Organic" vegetables, but when I get home they're just regular donuts.
Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were.
"The conversion of a soul is the miracle of a moment, but the manufacture of a saint is the task of a lifetime."
Frank visited a farmer to talk to him about Christ. "I wouldn't come to church up there," the farmer said. "I know old Bill who claims to be a Christian and his sister Clara who claims to be a Christian and they don't live any differently from me. I'm as good as they are."