Cybersalt Digest Archive


Issue #3905

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

I am happy to announce that I have moved over the last of the funny picture pages to the new Cybersalt Site.  This has been an ongoing project since July of 2011 and I'm glad to be able to turn my full attention to adding completely new material to the site.  You will find links to these last 12 pages at:
www.cybersalt.org/entertainment/funny-pictures/

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Turkey Size

picture of a thanksgiving turkeyA lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0885

picture of a smiling workerHow come you never hear about gruntled employees?

Here is today's CleanPun

Twitter's Golden Rule

twitter-2The golden wule of Twitter is "Tweet others like you want to be tweeted."

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1334

lonely-man"The loneliest moment in life is when you have just experienced that which you thought would deliver the ultimate, and it has just let you down."
- Ravi Zacharias

Here is today's Illustration

Aging Gracefully

picture of an elderlyladyThe following letter was forwarded by someone who teaches at a junior high school in Memphis, Tennessee.  It was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all humankind. Read it, soak it in, and bask in the warm feeling that it leaves you with.

Dear Reyer School:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged. All my people are gone. It's nice to know that someone thinks of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but would never let me listen to it, no matter how often or politely I asked. The other day her radio fell and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful. She was very upset. She then asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to buzz off.

Sincerely,

Edna Johnston

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

 


Issue #3904

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

Todays Cybersalt Digest is an abbreviated version because I'm chilling in Seattle while Mrs. Cybersalt attends a worship conference.  Remember, if you'd like to meet up for a coffee, reply to this mailing and we'll make some plans -  Seattle has Starbucks right?

I have finished moving all of the remaining funny car pictures over to the new Cybersalt site.  There are 14 to check out.  You'll find links to the first 10 of them at:
www.cybersalt.org/entertainment/funny-car-pictures

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Celebrating The Raise

picture of an ice cream coneMy sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise.

The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream.

As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?"

Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window. However, the window was closed, and it smacked against the glass.

Her husband replied calmly, "Yes."

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The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

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Issue #3903

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

Want to have coffee? Mrs. Cybersalt and I are heading to Washington State this weekend (and not because they just voted to legalize marijuana there.)  Susan is attending a worship conference in Redmond and I am coming along for the road trip.  That means I have some free time on Friday and Saturday afternoon, so I thought it might be fun to try to meet up with some Seattle area Cybersaltines. If you are interested reply to today's mailing and we'll make plans!

There are 5 more updated funny picture pages on the new Cybersalt site today.  Here are links to them:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/moose-security
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/star-wars-desk
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/star-wars-desk
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/overachiever
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/toilet-dive

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Substitute Teacher

Picture of a teacherWalking through the hallways at the middle school where I work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his classroom with his forehead against a locker.

I heard him mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?"

Knowing that he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer moral support.

"Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?"

He lifted his head and replied, "I'll be fine as soon as I get this kid out of his locker."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0884

kids on_beach"A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school clothes."

Here is today's CleanPun

Pants

a picture of hanging pants"I'm not sure which pants to wear today - smarty or fancy?"

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1333

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."
- C.S. Lewis

Here is today's Illustration

Coffee Stir

a picture of hot coffeeA diner was agitated that the waiter had brought him no spoon with his coffee. "This coffee," he said loud enough for most of the other patrons to hear, "is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers."

The waiter reddened, made a hasty retreat to the kitchen and returned shortly with another cup of coffee.

"This one isn't so hot, sir," he beamed.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

 


Issue #3902

Today's Table of Contents

Here is today's CleanLaugh

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Here is today's One-liner

Here is today's CleanPun

Here is today's CleanQuote

Here is today's Illustration

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

 


Issue #3901

Today's Table of Contents

Cybersalt News

It's election day in the USA tomorrow and some states are getting desperate to make voting easier - as you will see at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/improved-voting-device

I am happy to report I have moved over the last of the Funny Sign pictures to the new Cybersalt site.   You will find links to all at:
www.cybersalt.org/entertainment/funny-signs

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.

Here is today's CleanLaugh

Supporting a Family

family timeJake had proposed to young Gina and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.

"Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.

"Yes, sir," replied Jake, "I'm sure I am."

"Think carefully now," said Gina's father.

"There are twelve of us..."

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Here is today's One-liner

One-liner #0882

elevators"You know you are no longer young when you hear a favorite song in an elevator."

Here is today's CleanPun

Hurdles

picture of a hurdle"I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it."

Here is today's CleanQuote

Quote #1331

angel and_snake"Men never do evil so completely cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."
- Blaise Pascal

Here is today's Illustration

Unforgiveness Bracelet

picture of a diamond braceletJudi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.

"Excuse me," she said to the saleslady behind the counter, "Will a small deposit hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt

www.cybersalt.org

 
  1. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3900 - November 2, 2012
  2. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3899 - November 1, 2012
  3. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3898 - October 31, 2012
  4. The Cybersalt Digest - Issue #3897 - October 29, 2012

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