Monthly Archive

March 2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 71 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Alcohol Consumption Warnings
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6059
<1min

Alcohol Consumption Warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containters: 1.  Warnin... read more..
Betting Your Life
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
5237
3 min read

Betting Your Life

There's a picture that has been circulating on the internet. It shows two rows of big German Shepherd dogs staring at a tiny kitten walking unperturbed between them. Under the picture is the caption read more..
Soup Words
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3235
<1min

Soup Words

It was a formal banquet. The minister had just finished saying grace when a waiter spilled a bowl of steaming soup into his lap.The clergyman silently sizzled, then said in anguished tones, "Will a l... read more..
How do I get permission to use a picture on the Cleanlaugh site?
Pastor Tim's CleanLaugh Site
Pastor Tim
4149
<1min

How do I get permission to use a picture on the Cleanlaugh site?

The pictures I use on the CleanLaugh site are, for the most part, floating around on the net, source unknown.  For that reason, I can neither give nor deny permission to use them.  That deci... read more..
Nurses, Bedpans And X-Rated Hospital Gowns.
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
6669
5 min read

Nurses, Bedpans And X-Rated Hospital Gowns.

Tuesday last I awoke from my nightly slumber with terrific pain in my chest, much like an elephant break-dancing on my chest. It was painful just to breathe, but like the trooper I am, I shrugged it o... read more..
Microsoft TV Dinner
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4007
3 min read

Microsoft TV Dinner

Instructions for Microsoft's TV Dinner:You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept Microsoft rights to the TV dinner. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner ... read more..
Opportunities In The Master's Hand
Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
3995
11 min read

Opportunities In The Master's Hand

Journalist David Hajdu recently told a memorable story about Wynton Marsalis, one of the most easily recognizable jazz musicians in our day and one of the premier jazz trumpeters of all time. One nigh... read more..
More Signs
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5210
<1min

More Signs

In the front yard of a funeral home, "Drive carefully, we'll wait." On an electrician's truck, "Let us remove your shorts." In a nonsmoking area, "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fi... read more..
How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3629
4 min read

How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for six months.~ Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.~ Repaint your ... read more..
You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4970
2 min read

You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When

You know it's time to turn your computer off and read a book when ....... 1. A friend calls and says "How are you? Your phones have been busy-for a year!!!!!"2. You forgot how to work the TV remote c... read more..
Truth Always Comes Out
Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
5228
3 min read

Truth Always Comes Out

We often face things that we don't want to do, or places we don't want to go. But, our answer often tells lots about who we really are. If someone asks you to come to church, and you say, "I?ll be the... read more..
Cow Legs
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3341
<1min

Cow Legs

Did you hear of the little boy who came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When his mommy asked him "What is the blue ribbon for?" he proudly announced, "I won!"When pressed for details he si... read more..
The Healer Is Here!
Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
6642
2 min read

The Healer Is Here!

Jesus in CYBERSPACE?  You'd better believe it!  The same Lord who walked the shores of Galilee, who healed the sick, lifted the fallen, delivered the oppressed, walks the World Wide Web--to ... read more..
Party Advice
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3203
<1min

Party Advice

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.After an hour of this, t... read more..
Truck-Stop Harassment
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
7749
<1min

Truck-Stop Harassment

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.  The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at ... read more..
And How Do We Feel This Morning?
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
5015
5 min read

And How Do We Feel This Morning?

Without question, going to the hospital is teamwork from the time you arrive until you are wheeled out the front door. Everyone is working together for the common good of the patient, or at least a cr... read more..
Horse Talk
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3919
<1min

Horse Talk

"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster.""NO!" said the horse, read more..
A Goober Wins
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5465
<1min

A Goober Wins

A goober goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it.  He looks on the side of her cup and finds a peal off prize.  He pulls off the tab and yells, "I WON!  I WON! ... read more..
Unbind Him and Let Him Go
Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
5285
8 min read

Unbind Him and Let Him Go

How is this for a reason to party! In the Saturday, September....whoops I cut the date off, edition of the Victoria Times Colonist, I came across this story: The Headline on the story reads "Dead Man ... read more..
Military Time
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6842
<1min

Military Time

My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band... read more..
Canadian University Light-Bulb Jokes
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
6520
2 min read

Canadian University Light-Bulb Jokes

Enough here for many to laugh at themselves. CANADIAN UNIVERSITY LIGHT-BULB JOKES How many Lakehead students does it take to change a light-bulb?None---Thunder Bay doesn't have electricity. How man... read more..
Truly Great
The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
4747
4 min read

Truly Great

I picked up a copy of a national newspaper last week, as I do now and then, to fill in the gaps in the news that television coverage leaves. As I read through the articles I thought of the Sunday Scho... read more..
Soup Objects
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3528
<1min

Soup Objects

The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in an eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious."Hey," he called out to the waitress... read more..
Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
4876
5 min read

Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club

Of all the people who know me, no one would say I am afflicted with worryitis. They may say other things about me, which may or may not be true, but that's another story. If you ask me, and nobody has... read more..
London Building
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3367
<1min

London Building

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412... read more..
All In How You Play The Game
Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
4563
3 min read

All In How You Play The Game

When your children or grandchildren play sports, you become an avid sports fan, believe me! We have four grandchildren playing sports - football, basketball, and soccer. Right now, it's soccer season,... read more..
Shoplifter Excuse
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3906
<1min

Shoplifter Excuse

My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke fr... read more..
Politically Correct Football
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5165
<1min

Politically Correct Football

The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes and schedules for the coming season: The Washington Native Americans will host the New York Very Tall People o... read more..
Can You Trust It?
Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
4165
6 min read

Can You Trust It?

What kind of handshake do you have, is it one that is firm but brief in duration, is it soft but hangs on, do your eyes meet their eyes, do they shake your hand or just hold it, do men and women have ... read more..
Clean Is Clean!
Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
4869
3 min read

Clean Is Clean!

"Clean is clean"--depending on who's speaking!  If it's my sons claiming they've "cleaned" their rooms, clean is NOT clean in MOM'S eyes...and when they hung him on the cross, he was not clean ei read more..
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