Monthly Archive

December 2006

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 992 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Disappearing Dinosaurs
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4826
<1min

Disappearing Dinosaurs

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year.If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiti... read more..
Gender Request
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3192
<1min

Gender Request

After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery room with my wife. It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally announced, "I've got the head now; just a... read more..
Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 2
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3806
<1min

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 2

Wanting to love others as Jesus loved us (the Incarnation) is easy - doing it is a bit more complicated.  However, if we practice and balance three dynamics in our attempts to love others incarna... read more..
Wake Up Call
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5410
<1min

Wake Up Call

One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m.  wake-up call.  The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did not ring until 6:30.  "Good morning," a young man said ... read more..
Forgetfulness
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
15338
<1min

Forgetfulness

While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.  The old woman unfortunately left her glasses on the table, but didn't miss them until they were back on the hig... read more..
Tired and Thirsty
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4926
<1min

Tired and Thirsty

Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have coffee."The English student is thinking, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have l... read more..
Cat Sale
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5006
<1min

Cat Sale

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take.He knows that the saucer is extremely old ... read more..
Wheat Exports
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4355
<1min

Wheat Exports

Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export?Smiling confidently, he... read more..
Pole Contest
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4602
2 min read

Pole Contest

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers.The next day, two groups of workers showed up - a crew of five skilled workers and a crew of five goobers.The company could not decid... read more..
Modern Potty Training
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4491
<1min

Modern Potty Training

Little brother: What do I do now?Big brother: Throw the toilet paper in the toilet.Little brother: Like this?Big brother: Yeah.Little brother: Now what?Big brother: Hit "ENTER."Little brother: "ENTER"... read more..
Check The Mirror
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4870
<1min

Check The Mirror

Harry was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player.  ... read more..
Good Old Days
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4021
<1min

Good Old Days

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular. "When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 orang... read more..
No. 5 Bus
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4715
<1min

No. 5 Bus

A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party.  The conversation turned to Mozart.  "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!"The woman, wanting to... read more..
Punishment Withheld
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3399
<1min

Punishment Withheld

Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?One Student: "Because George still had the axe... read more..
Goober Eye Pain
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5688
<1min

Goober Eye Pain

A goober went to the doctor complaining, "Doctor every time I drink tea my eye hurts!"After examining him, the doctor advised him, "Before drinking your tea, remove the spoon from your ... read more..
Swahili Gasp
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4652
<1min

Swahili Gasp

A company was producing an English-language movie. In one scene, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in, collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili. The company even found someone who k... read more..
Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 1
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3744
<1min

Emotional Health - The Incarnation as Our Model to Love Others Well - Part 1

Jesus' coming to earth as man (the incarnation) is our model for loving others well.  Of course, before we can follow it as a model, we must know just what the incarnation was. Listen On... read more..
Next Question
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3219
<1min

Next Question

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking."Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"... read more..
New Employee Travel Policy
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5618
2 min read

New Employee Travel Policy

Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced regarding employees traveling on official business.  These policies are EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:LODGING:All employees are encoura... read more..
Happy Birthday Elsie
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3496
<1min

Happy Birthday Elsie

I play pinochle regularly with seven other women, most of whom are 70 or older. Recently we celebrated the birthday of our oldest member by taking her out to lunch. When the waitress came to take our ... read more..
Enemies in the West
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4888
<1min

Enemies in the West

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we faring?" asks the king."Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging... read more..
Dependents
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3334
<1min

Dependents

A man submitting information to his income tax preparer was asked how many dependents he had. "Sixteen," he replied.The preparer asked, "Would you mind repeating that?"The man replied, "Not if I can h... read more..
Jumper
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3677
<1min

Jumper

At the local Starbucks, a little guy exchanged words with a big bald guy and it looked like they were about to go to blows."You've got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!" snarled the big guy."Look, you... read more..
Last One
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4942
<1min

Last One

A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket for the first time.  She dressed her in pink from head to toe.  At the store, she placed her in the shopping cart and put her purchases ar... read more..
Knowing the Numbers
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3340
<1min

Knowing the Numbers

The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers."Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me.""Good. What comes after three.""Four," answers the boy."What comes after six?""Seven.""Ve... read more..
Professionalism Test
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4755
<1min

Professionalism Test

Read this out loud:This is this catThis is is catThis is how catThis is to catThis is keep catThis is a catThis is goober catThis is busy catThis is for catThis is forty catThis is seconds catNow go b... read more..
Lost In Jail
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3406
<1min

Lost In Jail

I was reviewing my client's case with him in prison when it was announced that visitors had 15 minutes to leave or be locked in for the three-hour prison head count. I bade my client farewell and left... read more..
Hearing Problems
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4741
<1min

Hearing Problems

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.  He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to ... read more..
Emotional Health - Embrace Grieving and Loss - Part 2
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3752
<1min

Emotional Health - Embrace Grieving and Loss - Part 2

The first phase of embracing grief and loss (paying attention to our grief) is followed by 2 other phases.  Our experiencing and going through these phases is another key step to experiencing emo... read more..
Amish Bumper Sticker
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5235
<1min

Amish Bumper Sticker

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage with the following hand printed sign on it .  .  ."Energy efficient vehicle.  Runs on oats and grass.  C... read more..
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