Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday and happy 70th birthday to my dad!
Don't forget the change in the sending schedule of the Cybersalt Digest, which is only being sent out on Sundays and Chicken Thursdays now. This allows me to devote time to some other Cybersalt projects that are in the works. I hope you will understand. Watch for news of those projects.
There is a new funny cat video on the Cybersalt Site - or is it a funny elephant video? You decide at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-elephant-butt
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Tiny Rose
A tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife.
They had always dreamed of having a child and naming her for the wife's beloved Aunt Rose.
But the baby was so tiny and precious, Rose was too much of a name for her.
They named her Bud instead.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1126
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Today's Clean Pun
Lofty Vision
Optimistic Optometrist: “They’ll see. They’ll ALL see.”
Today's Quote
Quote #1574
"When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."
Today's Illustration
Choosing a Husband
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors, and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking, and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims. "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that some women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners."
I know a lot about cars; I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
Position on Proposals: Getting down on one knee can be very engaging.
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"
I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military.
You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Surveying the job market: Look for a plumb assignment hanging weights from a string.
He prunes the foliage on your head
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
"I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm.