Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
What do you get when you combine skydiving and a meteorite? Why, you get the newest video added to the Fun Blog. You'll find "Skydiving Meteorite" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/skydiving-meteorite
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Tie Conspiracy
At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets.
Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated cocaine conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie.
The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a 'bug' planted by the conspiracy defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters in Washington, DC for analysis.
Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests.
"We're not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.'"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1144
Regarding "Eternal Truths:"
No matter where you go, there you are.
Today's Clean Pun
Classical Chicken
Beethoven got rid of his chickens, because the only thing they ever said was,
"Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Today's Quote
Quote #1592
"What! Get to Heaven on your own strength? You might as well try to climb to the moon on a rope of sand!"
- George Whitefield
Today's Illustration
In His Hands
"In His Hands"
We know not what tomorrow brings although we plan ahead
For only God alone can know the pathway we must tread.
We cannot know the future - not one minute nor one hour -
Each circumstance that we must face lay only in His power.
It's vital that we live by faith from minute unto minute
And trusting that each step we take He's walking with us in it.
We cannot see the future nor the trials we must face
But in all things, God promised us sufficiency of grace.
This alone should give us hope whatever be our plans
In knowing that our future lies in His strong, loving hands.
-Betty Purser Patten
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
"All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman.... "
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
My kids can't find their shoes when they need them, yet they can find that tiny bit of onion in their dinner.
I don't go to the gym; I like for things to work themselves out.
Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?
If you are looking for a bit of change from your traditional Thanksgiving turkey, why not try a "Turkraken?" As for me and my house, I'll pass and I bet you care to join me once see "Turkey Stuffing" at:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
He was a good man but a bit stingy. He would bargain and haggle on a price, never paying the price asked. He especially hated paying his medical fees.
Phrases for you to use in a job interview - or to interpret when interviewing!
My boss said, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have;"
A man who sued an airline because his luggage went missing ... has lost his case.
I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees.