Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Even with the best intentions, some parenting techniques have different effects on different children. This can be clearly seen in the newest funny picture on the Cybersalt Site. You'll find "Get Along Shirt" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/get-along-shirt
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Oily Hair
Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.
Worried that the oil might leave an odor, I washed my hair several times.
That night when I went to bed, I leaned over to my husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive oil?"
"No," he said, sniffing me.
"Do I smell like Popeye?"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1113
Dying is not popular; it has never caught on.
That's understandable; it's bad for the complexion.
- George Burns
Today's Clean Pun
Sports Close-up
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me!
Today's Quote
Quote #1561
"Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart."
- Unknown
Today's Illustration
Reconciliation, Divorce, Remarriage
After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on my answering machine from my ex-wife. "I came over to your house to borrow some tools today and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the one in the second column. It's me."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
You need a new car when ...
Told the doctor I thought I had athlete's foot; he looked at me and said, "I don't think you have athlete's anything."
What does a clock do when it's hungry?
A nervous attendant on a flight announced: "I don't know how this happened, but we have 100 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners."
Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from time to time.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
We just had a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
The wives of two Baptist pastors, had a friendship that was unending.
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
Anyone who says, "Easy as taking candy from a baby!" has never tried.
I did a theatrical performance about puns.
When a man pulled two guns on convenience store clerk Wazir Jiwi and demanded money, Jiwi asked how much he wanted for one of the guns. He said $100, which Jiwi paid him. Then Jiwi offered to buy the second gun. The robber handed it over, grabbed the cash and headed for the exit. But Jiwi had pushed a button under the counter that automatically locked the door.
My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering... how many calories are in a mouse?