Cybersalt News
Do you have a kid who likes to play with their food? Maybe they'll grow up and do things like Anette in today's newest funny picture on the Cybersalt Site. You'll find "Play With Your Food" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/play-with-your-food
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Your Turn
A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her.
Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there.
"Here," she said, handing him the coats,
"This time you put the children into their coats, and I'll go honk the horn."
Today's One-liner
One-liner 1117
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
Today's Clean Pun
Safari Lesson
"That's the last time I pet a lion!"
- said Tom offhandedly
Today's Quote
Quote #1565
"Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."
Psalm 9:10
Today's Illustration
Hospital Complaints
Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn't take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.
By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.
Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. "What's that?" she demanded.
"If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma," said one of the interns, "just press that button."
"What does it do, ring a bell?" she asked.
"No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty," the intern replied.
"A light in the hall?" responded Grandma. "Look, I'm the sick one around here. If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
George: Rich, ME? No, I'm a pauper.
"I dropped the toothpaste!"
In 1981, a Minnesota radio station reported a story about a stolen car in California. Police were staging an intense search for the vehicle and the driver, even to the point of placing announcements on local radio stations to contact the thief.
They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition.
A man was sleeping when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is breaking in!"
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
"I can't believe I ate that whole pineapple!"
[An ode to times long gone; for older folks only. Under 40, you just won't understand.]
A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
They told me I had Type A blood, but it was a Type O.
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a sarcophagus containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum.