Cybersalt News
The balance between work and play is a delicate one - as seen in the newest Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site. You will find "Lawn Chopper" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/lawn-chopper
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
First Date Nerves
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda shoppe. Ice-cream sundaes in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1104
I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey.
Today's Clean Pun
Patisserie Solicitation
Said the Thesaurus at the bakery, "I'd like a synonym bun!"
Today's Quote
Quote #1552
"St. Gregory wrote that every time the sacred text describes a fact, it reveals a mystery. Preachers, are you listening? We have for too long ruptured people's minds with facts rather than raptured their souls with mystery."
- Flannery O'Connor
Today's Illustration
Sincerity
One summer evening, a thirteen-year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.
His mother said, "No, but I appreciate your asking."
The child responded, "Well, I appreciate your saying 'no'."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name.
I don't care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
Broken pencils are pointless!
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.
The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners with no exceptions.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
I didn't like my beard at first.
At a diner, I was standing in line to pay my bill behind two women who handed the young waitress a credit card.
The teacher noticed that Mike had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention.
I wish I loved anything as much as I hate almost everything.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.