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Monthly Archive

July 2005

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 87 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
4229

Give 'em Heaven

What is it we're about as Christians? What is it we're doing? I want to talk about what I did the last couple of weeks. Some of you were around last year--I'd like to think that I have not lost any ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3308

More Bad Headlines

~ March Planned For Next August ~ Blind Bishop Appointed To See ~ Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip ~ L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide ~ Patient At Death's Door... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2582

Jack's Will

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will and testament."To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Ba... read more..

Racing
Pastor Tim
7691

37 Plus 22 Equals Short Night For Pastor Tim

Pastor Tim Davis, known at Western Speedway as the Pastor of Disaster, was slightly injured last night during the first lap of the A heat in the Claimer Division. Davis, who was driving bac... read more..

God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
3500

How Amnesia Has Improved My Quality of Life

Last week my wife sent me to the mall on an errand. Normally I don't like going to the mall, especially by myself, but when my wife sends me, I submit to my husbandly duty. Years ago when I joined her... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2352

Out of Fuel

Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the Newark airfield in sight?!?!!"Cessna: "Uh, um...tower,... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3161

John Will Be Fine

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.  "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
2865

The Day I Faced My Failure

This time of year makes me a bit jittery. It's that time when people ask, "Do you garden?" I take that question personally. I guess it's a hold-over from my Yukon days, but I always have the feeling t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2284

Verbalized Prayers

The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would verbalize their prayers at the weekly staff meeting. He led off: "Lord, my daughter is about to go away to college, I o... read more..

Guest Authors
Pastor Tim
9756

Persuading Others to Follow Christ

Today, in an effort to be sophisticated and contemporary, many Christians have stopped trying to persuade others to follow Christ. There's an underlying feeling in our society that nice people just do... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3136

Parenting Test

MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.  Now rub your hands in the Wet flower bed and rub on the walls.  Cover the stains with crayons.  Place a fish stick behind the co... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2798

Foot Pill

A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results. Some time later an orderly appeared and handed the man a large pill.Just then a mother with a small child ... read more..

Rev. Spence Laycock
Rev. Spence Laycock
2796

Why Did The Church Cross the Road?

If you put a twist on the age old line, ?Why did the chicken cross the road?? and instead ask, ?Why did the church cross the road?? the answers could look like this: Mark Twain would have said, 'the... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2956

That's Hospital Coverage!

Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a S... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2561

Lion Attack

Two wildlife documentary film makers were filming a wild lion in Africa when they both noticed that the lion was about to attack them.One of the men put down his camera and slowly began changing from ... read more..

Barb's Mantle
Barbara Sanders
4052

It Is Hot

The weather is almost unbelievable!  It seemed to never quit raining after the last hurricane. But, when it did, the weather went wild with heat!  Today,it's hitting the 100 mark,with the he... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3334

The Cautious Pilot

Taxiing down the tarmac, a jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.  After an hour long wait, it finally took off.  A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2305

Rabbi Sneak

There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was really curious about why so many people ate pork. He really wanted to try some, but there was no where in town he could go and not be seen. One weekend... read more..

Dr. Harold McNabb
Dr. Harold McNabb
2880

What Goes Around, Comes Around

One of the bothersome details about the life of Jacob is his character. He is a schemer and deceiver, and yet God makes a covenant with him, just as he had with his grandfather, Abraham. We know that ... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4940

How Do You Spell That

Lena passed away and Ole called 911.  The 911 operator told Ole that she would send someone out right away.  "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Ole replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus D... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2666

Letter Pride

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student. "Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary.""You're lucky," t... read more..

Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
9521

Airbag

In respose to my devotional "Entertainment vs. Safety" Tony wrote: Pastor Tim, Wish you had harped a bit on the possible dire consequences of anyone removing an airbag just for gratification of "sel... read more..

Peggie's Den
Peggie Bohanon
3204

Great Getaway!

Heard about a getaway that wasn't so great-- a dog, frightened of the July 4th fireworks, ran away, across a busy street, and a family searched frantically for him. In desperation, they ran an ad in t... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3265

Bulletin Bloopers #2

More Church Bulletins Bloopers - The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy." - During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privil... read more..

Melva's Devotions
Melva Cooper
4514

Smile

Today I received a sweet smile from my grandson Levi. I cherish that look that he saves for special times. My family is so filled with females. A sister, two daughters, a niece and three precious gran... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3287

Corporate America in the 90's

You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if: - You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. - Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. - You... read more..

Cybersalt Shaker
Pastor Tim
6079

Entertainment vs. Safety

Anyone who knows me just a little knows that I like electronic gadgets and toys.  Whether the newest computer peripheral, the latest digital media hardware, or the most recently increased-in... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3316

Go Get Grandma

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said.  "She's come to visit u... read more..

Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
2458

Two Kids

Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black ... read more..

The Spur
Marcia Lee Laycock
2656

A Day at The Beach and A Lesson on God's Love

The day couldn't have been more perfect. The sky was clear, the sun dancing off the water. The beach slowly filled with parents and children, out to enjoy a day at the beach. After an overnight camp o... read more..

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