Cybersalt Digest Archive
Cybersalt News
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
There is a new inspirational video on the Cybersalt Site today. If you feel overwhelmed by the need or desire to declutter or downsize your surroundings, you'll find some very helpful solutions to help you. You can watch "How I Beat the Emotional Blocks to Decluttering & Downsizing" at:
www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/how-i-beat-the-emotional-blocks-to-decluttering-downsizing
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Winter in Wisconsin
It's winter in Wisconsin
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour
At 52 below!
Oh, how I love Wisconsin
When the snow's up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Wisconsin,
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.
- Author Unknown
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1163
I just ordered a life alert bracelet so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately!
Today's Clean Pun
Null Armstrong
To the guy who invented "zero" ... Thanks for nothing!
Today's Quote
Quote #1611
"Worry does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace."
- Unknown
Today's Illustration
Great Value in Disaster
Thomas Edison's laboratory was virtually destroyed by fire in December, 1914. Although the damage exceeded $2 million, the buildings were only insured for $238,000 because they were made of concrete and thought to be fireproof. Much of Edison's life's work went up in spectacular flames that December night.
At the height of the fire, Edison's 24-year old son, Charles, frantically searched for his father among the smoke and debris. He finally found him, calmly watching the scene, his face glowing in the reflection, his white hair blowing in the wind.
"My heart ached for him," said Charles. "He was 67 - no longer a young man - and everything was going up in flames. When he saw me, he shouted, "Charles, where's your mother?" When I told him I didn't know, he said, "Find her. Bring her here. She will never see anything like this as long as she lives."
The next morning, Edison looked at the ruins and said, "There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew."
Three weeks after the fire, Edison managed to deliver his first phonograph.
- The Sower's Seeds
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
Walter McLauren e-mailed me on Friday wondering if I had "called in fat" last Chicken Thursday (a new one for me) because I had not sent a mailing out. As it happened, Wednesday night was our church's annual general meeting and Grandma Cybersalt and I simply ran out of time to get a mailing out.
But now that I know about it, I am going to save "calling in fat" for another day for sure!
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
*Famous Sports Quotes*
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
--Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
--Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.
"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
--Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
--Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements
"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500 SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to and from class."
--George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
--Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
-- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1162
I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop; he just sat there drinking his coffee ... like a psychopath.
Today's Clean Pun
Nice Kids
No matter how kind you are, German children are always kinder.
Today's Quote
Quote #1610
"I heard your prayer. Trust my timing."
- TobyMac #SpeakLife
Today's Illustration
Secret Sin
My friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town.
Once he saw a group of beach goers park near his shop and dump trash from their car on his property.
As soon as they were out of sight, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put the garbage back inside and re-locked the car.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
Wow, Rev. James Snyder really likes to go on about the cold! It does serve a good purpose in his life though - that and other trials. You can read more about that in "Why Did God Give Us Winter?" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/why-did-god-give-us-winter
Also, the Westside Bible Church site has been updated with an audio recording of the final message in my recent sermon series on the Lord's prayer. You can listen to "Learn, Practice, Grow - The Lord's Prayer" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/learn-practice-grow-the-lord-s-prayer
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Pastor Comeback
A local Pastor joined a community service club, and the members thought they would have some fun with him.
Under his name badge they printed "Hog Caller" as his occupation. Everyone made a big fanfare as the badge was presented.
The Pastor responded by saying, "I usually am called the 'shepherd of the sheep'...
but you know your people better than I do."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1161
Auto-correct can be so flippant annotating.
Today's Clean Pun
Statue Correctness
When speaking to a Greek Orthodox audience, icon tact is important.
Today's Quote
Quote #1609
"Worship isn't an event to attend and watch. It's a lifestyle to be lived."
- unknown
Today's Illustration
A New Day
This is the beginning of a new day.
You have been given
this day to use as you will.
You can waste it or use it for good.
What you do today is important
because you are exchanging
a day of your life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever;
in its place is something that
you have left behind...
let it be something good.
- Author unknown
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.