Cybersalt Digest Archive

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone.

In preparing today's mailing I discovered I really messed up the news last week. The link to Rev. James Snyder's article was not correct. So today the news has twice the Snyder it usually has!

Rev. James Snyder has been thinking about all the things there are to do and the things he is able to do. You can read "The Strange Myth of Multitasking" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/the-strange-myth-of-multitasking 

He has also been pondering how marriage adds a new meaning to his concept of "Tomorrow."  You can read "I’ll Do It First Thing Tomorrow" at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/i-ll-do-it-first-thing-tomorrow

Finally, the Westside Bible Church website has been updated with the audio recording of my sermon from last Sunday. It's a look at the question of what happens to us when we die and are awaiting the resurrection: soul-sleep or conscious with Jesus. You can listen to "Places Everybody!" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/places-everybody 

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Colorful Grandma

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.

I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely,

"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1166

If Mom says "No," ask Nana;

if Nana says "No," ... who are we kidding?? Nana never says "No!"

Today's Clean Pun

River Success

The only person I can think of for whom being in denial worked out OK was Moses.

- Walter McLauren

Today's Quote

Quote #1614

"You don't have a soul; you are a soul. You have a body."

- C. S. Lewis

Don't Need Grace

Little Mikey and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Mikey received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Mikey! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his mother.

"I don't need to," the boy replied.

"Of course, you do," his mother insisted through gritted teeth. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Mikey explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook."

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

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Cybersalt News

Oh look, Chicken Thursday!

I am happy to announce that a few months ago Cybersalt acquired the domain www.cybersalt.com. In 1998, I missed buying that domain by 11 months and so I bought www.cybersalt.org instead. However, the owner of www.cybersalt.com contacted me late last year to sell it and we negotiated a price.

The timing of this was excellent because I was looking for a way to better promote the web design, web hosting,and consulting side of Cybersalt. The new site is still a work in progress, but I do have a splash page and contact form ready for anyone who wants to know more or contact me further about their web needs. I've even joined the Westshore Chamber of Commerce. So if you are curious, interested, or want to refer someone to check out what Cybersalt offers, the address is www.cybersalt.com.

And don't worry, the www.cybersalt.org site (with more that 17,000 pages on it and growing) will continue to serve the content Cybersaltines have come to enjoy for over 18 and half years!.

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Mom Wonder

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like.

She said, "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."

The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in.

At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1165

Don't wear headphones while vacuuming; I've just finished the whole house before realizing the vacuum wasn't plugged in.

Today's Clean Pun

Gratis Recycling

I gave all my dead batteries away today ... free of charge.

Today's Quote

Quote #1613

"What wings are to a bird and sails to a ship, so is prayer to the soul."

- Corrie Ten Boom

Conclusions and Impressions

Little Johnny had been bringing his drawings home from kindergarten every day since he started a month ago. Each day his mother admired the pictures and hung them on the refrigerator. One thing started bothering her. Little Johnny only used black and browns for his drawings. Fearing a problem and not wanting it to get worse, she decided to take him to a child psychologist.

The psychologist delicately went to work. He gave Little Johnny a battery of psychological tests. He chatted with Little Johnny. Everything seemed perfectly normal. Every day for two weeks, the tests continued. Yet everyday, Little Johnny continued to bring home drawings in only blacks and browns.

Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem and fearful that something was terribly wrong, the child psychologist decided to give Little Johnny some paper and a box of crayons and observe what happened.

Little Johnny opened the box of crayons and said, "Oh, Boy! A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.

Cybersalt News

Sunday greetings everyone.

Today, on the Cybersalt Site, Rev. James Snyder is thinking about all the things there are to do and the things he is able to do.  You can read "The Strange Myth of Multitasking" at:
www.cybersalt.org/inspiration/how-i-beat-the-emotional-blocks-to-decluttering-downsizing

Also, the Westside Bible Church website has been updated with the audio recording my sermon from last Sunday. It starts out with a discussion on faith between comedians Ricky Gervais and Stephen Colbert. You can listen to "Don't Treat Prophecy with Contempt" at:
www.westsidefamily.org/messages/don-t-treat-prophecy-with-contempt

Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!

~ Pastor Tim

Today's CleanLaugh

Valentine's Day

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

Today's One-liner

One-liner #1164

The relationship between Husband and Wife is very psychological; one is Psycho and the other is Logical - and whatever you do, don't try to figure out Who is Who.

Today's Clean Pun

Valentine Puns

Please, under no circumstances think that I do not realize the following Valentine puns are anything other than painful and torturous. But for those who like that flavor of the genre, here you go, lol!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
A hog and kisses!

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?
It was Valenswine's Day!

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!

Liz: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons."
Jon: "Really?"
Liz: "Yeah, you make me sick!"

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
He gives it a valenshine!

What did Frankenstein say to his girlfriend?
"Be my Valenstein!"

Today's Quote

Quote #1612

"Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy."

- Thomas Merton

Cakes and Ale and Legalism

Here is a purported-to-be-true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day, a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me cakes and ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me cakes and ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred-year-old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section that read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily eating and slurping away.

Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.

The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.