Cybersalt News
Sunday greetings everyone.
There is a new devotional from Rev. James Snyder on the Cybersalt Site today. James says he has lost his mind and doesn't really miss it. You can read more at:
www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/i-lost-my-mind-but-i-really-haven-t-missed-it
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon
10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler.
9. The pews have camper hookups.
8. You overhear the pastor telling the soundman to have a few dozen extra tapes on hand to record today's sermon.
7. The preacher has brought a snack to the pulpit.
6. The preacher breaks for an intermission.
5. The bulletins have pizza delivery menus.
4. When the preacher asks the deacon to bring in his notes, he rolls in a filing cabinet.
3. The choir loft is furnished with La-Z-Boys.
2. Instead of taking off his watch and laying it on the pulpit, the preacher turns up a four-foot hour-glass.
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'RE IN FOR A LONG SUNDAY SERMON
1. The minister says, "You'll be out in time to watch the super bowl" but it's only November!
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Equine Opportunities: If the horses ever realize the barn door isn't locked, they're gonna have a field day.
I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the textbook and was shocked to find out it would cost me $125. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester.
- It just entered itself in the heavyweight division on BattleBots.
.jpg)
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. Then he followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the students:
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer; I saw it through my binoculars last night.
"Traditional christening services are being replaced by ceremonies where the newborn's name will be tattooed on some part of one or both parents' anatomy.
A fellow asked his friend why he never married.
"Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes."
If you answer the phone and say, "Hello, you're on the air" most telemarketers will hang up quickly.
I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.
A preacher and the president of a soap manufacturing company went for a walk together.