Cybersalt News
Have you ever been to a BBQ and asked for a doggie bag? If not, you might not want to start at this "Free BBQ".
www.cybersalt.org/funny-signs/free-bbq
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Ladies' Tee
It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Murray was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. "Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee back up to the men's tee, please!"
Murray was still deep in his routine, seemingly oblivious to the interruption.
Again the announcement, "Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee, kindly back up to the men's tee!"
Murray had had enough. He broke his stance, lowered his driver back to the ground and shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly be quiet and let me play my second shot?"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1044
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Today's Clean Pun
Skinny Lane
If you’re walking in the narrow space behind my building, you’re right up my alley.
Today's Quote
Quote #1492
"Think it through to its logical conclusion, and if the outcome is something that God would condemn, put a stop to it immediately."
- Oswald Chambers
Today's Illustration
Dependency On God
Prayer of a child:
"Bless my mom and dad ... and dear God, take good care of Yourself.
If anything happens to You, we're sunk."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - unknown
After the London Playwrights Guild found out what Shakespeare was up to, he was bard for life.
Evxn though my typxwritxr is an old modxl, it works quitx wxll xxcxpt for onx of the kxys. I havx many timxs wishxd that it workxd pxrfxctly.
Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician.
I just got lost in thought; it was unfamiliar territory.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
Because of back problems, each night I lie on the floor and do exercises.
5:30am: Started the day as a hero! When the sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway roused me from my deep slumber, and the impact indicated the paper was much heavier than normal, I realized that no one in the house was yet awake! I roused my master by licking him in the face. He appeared very angry with himself for having overslept, shouting and waving his arms. His ill temper even seemed directed at me a bit, which is silly since it is I who saved him from being fired. Funny thing though: he didn't go into work, but spent the morning leafing through the large newspaper and drinking coffee. He seems to do this once a week, and I don't know why.
I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said.
Tomorrow, which isn't even here yet, will never be the day after tomorrow again.
Finally, my winter fat is gone.
My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."