Cybersalt News
There is a new Funny Dog Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. It shows a dog that has mastered 50% of "sit and stay." Check out "Half Stay" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-dog-pictures/half-stay
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing! ~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Chickens in the Sack
If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here.
There were two Goobers walking toward each other down the street.
One Goober was carrying a sack.
When they met up, the second Goober asked, "Whatcha got in that there sack?"
The Goober with the sack replied, "Just some chickens."
The second Goober said, "If I guess how many chickens are in that there sack, can I have one?"
The first Goober answered, "I'll give ya both of them if you get it right."
So, the second Goober thought and thought. Finally he guessed. "Five?"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1040
If anything is on your mind, get it off your chest.
Today's Clean Pun
Told Where to Go
Realtors: Really put you in your place.
Today's Quote
Quote #1488
"We will speak thankful words consistently, when we are thankful people."
Today's Illustration
Respect, Reverence
When I was stationed at Myrtle Beach, S.C., I spent my spare time fishing in the backwaters of the Intracoastal Waterway. Soon I became a guide of sorts for some senior non-commissioned officers.
Once, a chief master sergeant hooked a 20-pound striped bass. After he reeled the fish onto the boat, he slipped the hook out of its mouth and released it back into the water.
He must have noticed the puzzled look on my face.
"Rank does have its privileges. I can't keep a fish that has more stripes than I do," he explained.
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Although we had recently moved into a new neighborhood, our young son had already made many new friends, ten of whom were invited to his birthday party. When the happy day arrived and he opened his presents, I was amazed to see that eight guests had presented him with sweaters.
I am not contradicting you!
Not many people knew Wyatt Earp was a choir composer; not a great one, but he could shoot out an okay chorale.
It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home.
Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son's a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin.
If I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn't have worked so hard when I was young!
Going camping: sounds tentalizing.
We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo.
The trouble with you is that there's nothing wrong with you.
Dean Martin as a scuba instructor: "That's a moray."
"Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?"
A young couple lived in a town filled with crime.
A dog retrieves a ball thrown from over a mile away: seems pretty far-fetched.
I learned a lesson in marketing from a man who bought an old boat, a trailer, and a motor from me. "Thanks," he said as he loaded them up. "I'm planning to resell them."